Unimaginable
by J.slytheringirl
Summary: Lily and James in their sixth year at hogwarts. James is in love with Lily but Lily hates his guts. Can he get it together for Lily?
1. Chapter 1

Lily heard the train whistle as she hurried to get on board

Lily heard the train whistle as she hurried to get on board. Her mother had been late du to Petunia's insistence that she drive her to Vernon's first, Mom too tired to argue complied making her insanely late. Lily stopped to catch her breath as soon as she boarded the train. She dragged her trunk along the narrow grey-blue passage of the train until she found her best friend Mary Macdonald, sitting with her new boyfriend, Sirius Black. Lily slid the glass door open and let it slam behind her in frustration. "Damn." Lily swore as she sat in the seat across from Mary.

"Did I just hear you swear Evans?" Sirius chuckled; in response Lily silenced him with a death glare. Lily sighed "So you guys made it through the summer then?" She asked tentatively.

"Well I do have my arm around her…" Sirius began sarcastically. Lily sighed again

"Fine; Mary what did you do this summer?" Lily asked frustrated again with the lack of conversation.

"Well it's funny you should ask….." Mary giggled into Sirius's chest; Sirius lifted her chin and kissed her, with tongue.

"Oh gross" Lily heard the compartment door open "Finally someone--" She stopped dead James Potter had walked in through the door; Lily threw him a furious glare.

"Gee Lil it's nice to see you too." He said as he took the seat next to her, he stretched out next to her, taking up most of the seat. Lily sighed she was in for a long ride.

"So Evans how was your summer?" James asked giving her his most dazzling smile his hazel eyes crinkling around the edges.

Lily starting laughing "Potter there's a bit of broccoli stuck in your teeth." James's smile grew even wider at the sound of her laughing. Lily just shook her head and got up,

"Hey Mary I'll see you around I need to head to the prefects compartment to check in."

"Actually so do I," James started but stopped once he saw Lily's horrorstruck expression. Lily grabbed the part of his robes that had the prefect badge on it and pulled it closer examining it. Finally Lily let go but her shocked expression still remained.

"I know you wanted to get close to me but man you don't have to be so rough. Would you like to go now or would you like to poke a hole in my robes?" Lily's jaw clenched with frustration. James smiled at how furious she was.

"Get out of my way Potter,"

"Only if you'll go out with me Evans" James said his hazel eyes glowing as they pierced into hers. Lily felt the ends of her lips go up into a smile.

"Yes" James looked shocked

"Really?" He asked ecstatically

"No, move." Lily demanded, with a sigh James moved. Lily bumped shoulders with him on her way out. Lily walked down to the prefects' compartment waiting for Oliver who was the head boy to give a speech on the duties of a prefect. James came in through the door and everyone except Lily that is gave a chuckle. James sauntered over to where Lily was standing with his hand in his hair messing it up. Lily just shook her head laughing a little at the expression on Oliver's face. James just glared at her.

Lily was barely listening to Oliver she was too preoccupied thinking about her NEWT classes she was going to be taking this year. She was going to be an Auror and combat the dark lord. No person should have to feel threatened because of their ancestry. Just thinking of Voldemort makes Lily angry. Lily was still mulling over the start of her sixth year when all of a sudden "Evans!" Lily shook her head of errant thoughts as she responded "Here!"

"That's nice but I was asking whether you'd take the first night patrol?"

"Uhh yeah, sure."

"Good that's you and potter then." Oliver said resignedly. Lily closed her eyes in both humiliation and defeat. She'd be working with Potter the boy who had annoyed her since she set eyes on him. Had asked her out at least 10 times a day, this year was going to be great.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author note: I dont own harry potter just the plot. sorry haven't updated in a long time because i had no idea what i was doing but now i do so expect more frequent updates. But this wont get out fast regardless because of school so im asking you to bear with me here.**

**and lastly the first part of this chapter may get a little confusing because it belongs to another story line except that it describes the present situation well so if anythings confusing please tell me and ill clear it up in the next update. thanks!**

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Lily left the prefects compartment and walked back to Mary and Sirius's compartment; Potter was right behind her trying walk with her but failing. As they got closer she heard pleasurable moans and groans presumably being made by Mary and Sirius, Lily just squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Potter who was oblivious to the sounds of their obvious lovemaking tried to open the compartment door but found it locked.

"Uhh Potter if they locked the door I'm pretty sure they did it for a good reason." Lily pointed out.

James's eyes widened then his lips pulled up in a grimace. "Ew they couldn't wait until we got back to the castle huh?"

"Talk about impatience…" Lily said trailing off.

"Ha that's all Sirius, his mind is completely on sex and that's it." Lily leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor in an exhausted heap. James followed suit sitting next to her.

"Mary's the same way except she actually cares about Sirius; she really cares about what happens to him. She's liked him for a really long time since at least 4th year."

"Really" Potter asked interestedly.

"Yeah she tried to forget about him and the funny thing is, when she relaxed and moved onto other guys he started to realize he liked her physically if anything."

"Ha yeah Sirius got really jealous of that bloke uh Smith was his name I think. Anyhow after he got out of the broom closet with her one time, Sirius just hexed him so much he spent a week in the hospital wing. Rumor on the guy's side of the line was that Mary had a curse cast on her if any guy kissed her he'd end up in the hospital wing. Sirius did all he could to encourage the rumor." Lily cracked a smile at the story.

"Well they're together now not a lot will change that for awhile at least." Lily said worrying internally about what it would do to Mary if Sirius were to break up with her; she was already in so deep.

"Sirius won't be doing any of the breaking I can tell you that he's completely into her." James said softly clearly deep in thought. Lily laughed without humor as she reached for her wand. "What's so funny?" He asked her puzzled.

"That's what Eric's friends told me but when he realized I wouldn't give him what he wanted he broke up with me." Lily said comparing her latest heartbreak to Mary's situation; it worried her she loved Mary like a sister and did not want to see her hurt.

"Sirius isn't like that; he's honest granted he loves sex but he does care about the girl and he cares about Mary a lot more than the normal girl he's with." James's eyes narrowed and his voice adopted a sternness that had never been there before. She remembered the depth of the bond between them. A small smile played on her lips as she reminisced. She doubted she was wrong about him but she unconsciously gave him another shot.

"Can I ask you something?" Lily asked bracing for some more sternness on James's part

"Shoot." James said as he shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

"How did you get named a prefect? I mean you have the dirtiest record for playing tricks on people but yet here you are, with a badge." James's eyes crinkled as he smiled.

"I cleaned up my act last year, my quidditch captaincy was in jeopardy and then I was able to stop." He paused as if considering something. "Getting caught" He added which caused Lily to laugh.

"So since you asked me a question I'm going to ask you one." He told her seriously

"Shoot." Lily replied using his expression; he seemed to enjoy that his eyes twinkled mischievously.

"We've gone through an entire conversation without you biting my head off, why is that?"

"It may have to do with the fact you haven't hit on me asked me out or made allusions to the fact that I may one day be Mrs. Lily Potter and you haven't made references to," She paused considering what to say "Before." She frowned knowing this would cause an uncomfortable conversation later.

"Let's see if your friends are done shall we?" James suggested getting up and then offering an arm to help Lily up which she took. They continued down the train where they opened the door and found two fully clothed yet disheveled looking Mary and Sirius. It was right that Lily and James had not broken down the door.

"Well if it isn't our prefects." Sirius teased as Lily and James sat down.

"Well if it isn't the legendary two sluts of Hogwarts going at it." James threw back. Sirius paled whereas Mary struggled to retain a giggle. James threw a skeptical look at Lily.

Surprisingly for the rest of the train ride Lily enjoyed herself immensely. James did not once make any allusions to Lily going out with him or his most recent conquests for which Lily was most grateful. Instead they discussed favorite bands and quidditch teams but what were you going to expect from James who was the quidditch captain second year running?

Lily departed from the train walking side by side with James letting the happy couple have a few moments alone. James immediately caught her in a conversation about the latest death eater attack. Apparently the death eaters had blown apart a part of Ollivanders and as a result killed 2 pure blooded wizards along with 10 muggle-borns. Lily's teeth ground in utter anger but then she noticed James's eyes were flitting from her eyes to behind her. She looked behind her and found Eric kissing a blonde girl she knew as Sienna Moore the whore of their year.

James frowned in defeat "Sorry" he muttered. Lily was touched by the way he seemed to mildly care. Well enough to distract her as long as possible from the fact Eric moved on to a class slut. Lily frowned and shrugged her shoulders "He was always going to move on it's not your fault. Anyway how did you do on your O.?" Lily asked. He proceeded to boast about his eleven Outstandings and his one exceeds expectations; in potions of course. Lily smiled she had beaten him; she had gotten straight outstandings but let him boast because she asked. Soon enough they were approaching the great hall for the welcoming dinner. Lily was greeted and congratulated by all of Gryffindor on becoming a prefect. She sat next to her better friends; including Mary, Alice, Jude, Lizzie, Katie, Shane, Marlene and the most recent, Sirius and James. They discussed current events their summers and their N.E.W.T classes and before they knew it Dumbledore cleared his throat to begin the welcome speech.

Like every year Dumbledore gave the welcome speech and re-visited all of Filch's restrictions and again like every year most students ignored the part about Filch. Eventually however the feast was served and everyone dove hungrily into it. Lily had barely put a piece of chicken on her plate when Eric tapped her back. Eric looked upset and Lily frowned she didn't buy the sorry- boy act he was about to put on.

"Hey Lily can I talk to you for a sec?" His piercing green eyes stared intensely into her own; a look like that could have melted anyone's heart except Lily's. She regarded him coldly

"No you may not; please leave your ruining my dinner." Eric shut his eyes in frustration but turned away nonetheless. Lily continued to eat until James caught her attention and motioned for them to go meet Oliver for their prefect duties. James and Lily were alone in the corridor that led to the prefect's meeting room. For a few minutes none of them said anything they just listened to the sound of their reverberating footsteps. Suddenly James stopped, looked at Lily and opened his mouth as if to say something but he shut it again and continued to stare. Lily looked at him blankly but started walking when James sped up. Lily kept pace with him until he stopped and opened his mouth but again nothing came out. Lily intervened this time "James you want to say something so say it."

James took a calming breath "Do you remember in second year when we were best friends?" Lily frowned she loved yet hated those times. She used to be best friends with James Remus Sirius and Peter but they hid something from her and it tore their relationship apart. Now Lily was completely on the outside of their circle however it was not completely their fault. Lily pursed her lips as she nodded already not liking where this was going.

"I forgot why we aren't I mean today all of a sudden out of the blue there you are able to get along with me whereas before you couldn't even look at me without being disgusted. It shows our friendship is still there." James argued they had this conversation a hundred times Lily shook her head slightly.

"Friends don't keep secrets whatever you guys are hiding I could have helped keep it too but you chose not to trust me and now all we've got left are shreds."

"We tried to tell you but you wouldn't let us." Before this time James was never stupid enough to mention that. Lily's anger boiled and overflowed as she remembered the humiliation she had suffered that night.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Lily had just gotten back from detention when she saw the guys she used to call her friends huddled around in a corner whispering amongst themselves. All whispering stopped as soon as she came within ten feet of them. With a frown she dropped her books and headed out of the tower and wandered the corridors for a while. Suddenly inexplicably her legs became rigid and she no longer had any control over it. It was the leg locker curse. She turned to see who cast it at her. She saw no one until Sirius and Peter came from underneath James's cloak. She kept her wand steady at her side until wordlessly freed herself from the curse. She doubted that they knew what she had done. Her heart squeezed as James; her James, revealed himself to be one of her betrayers. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she realized how sad it was that they had to curse her to talk to her. _

"_Lily." They acknowledged sadly. _

"_So what am I a prank now? Lily asked too exhausted and humiliated to play games. The last few months of fighting with them already cost her several days worth of sleep and finally she was sapped of her love for them. She was sapped of her love for James they didn't have a chance together if he was lying to her. Her heart gave a painful squeeze as the knowledge of this statement reared its ugly head. _

"_No you're our friend Lily and we want to be honest with you." Her heart lifted at this sentiment perhaps there was a chance yet. _

"_Well start from the beginning." _

"_We can't." This rejection had Lily from depression and sadness to fury in a matter of seconds. She stood up and got straight in their dumbstruck faces. _

"_Fine you can't but know this, this inability to tell me the truth will cost my friendship. Don't try and feed me whatever bullshit you have got cooked up because I know what it is. I'm tired of this and don't tell me its for my own good because I should be the judge of that not you. I' am as powerful as you are and for now, as strong but you overlooked that. Tomorrow I' am going to sit with Mary and I don't want you to bother me. This is it don't try and persuade me because I'll hex you." And with that Lily left her old friends behind and the tears she held back began to fall freely now as she crept quietly into Gryffindor tower. _

End flashback.

"You weren't going to tell me James all you were going to say was that you were sorry you couldn't and if you can't trust me I can't trust you. Believe it or not if you had just told me we'd probably be going out now. But then again I can't say I care anymore." Lily spat viciously at the stone cold angry James.

"If you didn't care Lily you wouldn't be so angry." James said while calculating Lily's reaction. He observed that she looked like she could spit fire. With that she stormed away from him but what he couldn't see was that her anger masked her regret and sadness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow I got this out in a few days; I amaze myself. Don't think I need to state I don't own Harry Potter but just in case there it is. I've got it going now don't expect updates this fast again but we can always hope. At the very least Ill have an update a week. Anyhow reviews appreciated constructive criticism even more flames are not. happy reading. **

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Both the prefects meeting and the patrol passed by without any communication between James and Lily, both of whom were too furious to even look at each other. After the meetings Lily practically ran from the room into the Gryffindor common room where Mary was waiting for her on a dorm bed. Mary sighed knowing the furious glare on Lily's face could only mean one thing.

"So what did James do now?" she asked waiting for the rant to begin. Much to Mary's surprise Lily said nothing. Mary knew that if Lily did not answer it means she does not want to talk about it. Mary got out of bed and went downstairs where she saw Sirius in a chair just staring into the fire his normal brooding moody self, before she came into the picture that is. Mary smiled and took the chair next to him and took his empty hand. He never looked at her only the burning embers of the fire. Mary was about to lose hope from getting attention from him tonight when he squeezed her hand. Suddenly his thoughtful grey eyes bored into her beautiful green ones. "Hey," he breathed. "How's lily-flower doing?"

"She won't talk, won't sleep just lies in her bed thinking." She replied sadly, neither of them said it aloud but they both knew that Lily and James had to get together before their sanities fell apart. Mary held his hand but stared into the burning embers mesmerized by the dying dancing flames.

"My mom sent another howler this morning." He said putting it out there and waiting as if for his words themselves to be contradicted.

"But?" Mary asked still staring placidly into the fire. Sirius turned to look at Mary who was still looking into the fire "But I set it on fire before it had a chance to explode." Mary smiled at him knowing what his family was like and hoped that she would never have to meet them.

"Come here," Sirius said suddenly holding his arms out for her she only too happily climbed into his lap. She placed her head on his shoulder and rested her legs on the arms of the chair.

Mary knowing it would most likely escalate into a fight but also knowing she'd hate him for it later if she didn't; she asked him the question burning in her mind for years.

"Sirius?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah?" he breathed in apprehension knowing all along that this conversation was coming.

"Why did you let Lily go so easy? I mean one day you're best friends and you guys would prank all the time together and then the next a heartbroken yet headstrong girl I barely knew came sat next to me and asked for a hand in friendship." She waited eagerly for a response, however knew it would be a while. Sirius took a deep breath, and began hoping she would understand but knew she wouldn't just because Lily was best-friends with her.

"We were keeping something from Lily, something that could have possibly hurt her if she was a part of. That and it was our secret, Me, Remus James and Peter's secret. She wasn't a part of it and it tore our friendship apart. It was awful trying to keep it from her but how James didn't crack under the pressure of his crush and the fact that he can't keep a secret I'll never know."

Mary deliberately squeezed her eyes and pulled away from Sirius's fragrant warm chest and spoke softly yet determinedly "Sirius whatever it is you'll eventually have to tell me; especially if you're looking to keep me. I'm not saying you have to do it now or tomorrow but eventually, I'm blessed with a bit more patience than Lily but I don't blame her for disposing of you guys. I'd do that; but if you don't tell me at least tell her; she used to have a crush on James and if you guys would have just told her they'd be going out by now. I don't know if she still likes him but honestly besides you, if anyone deserves happiness it's James. I mean he lost his parents this year and he has to live on his own now without any blood relatives. Also this secret of yours, remember she's muggle born she knows what it is to be victimized by racism so if it would destroy your rep well just imagine being her." She took a deep breath as she waited for his reaction. The atmosphere was tense as Sirius thought and Mary opened her mouth but closed it; Sirius would speak when he wanted to.

"I know I have to tell you but I have to talk to them first." Sirius smiled at her and the tension broke at once. Mary's heart beat even faster as she looked into his smiling stormy grey eyes.

"That's all I'm asking for; I'd stay but Lily'll probably want to talk that and I need some sleep." With that she kissed him squeezed his hand and shook her hips and smiled seductively just for him. He smiled at her and re-thought her speech. He knew it was going to be hell to persuade the guys and James would deck him for even asking but, for Mary he'd take a killing curse. Sirius let the groan he'd been holding back escape when he knew Mary was out of hearing range. James was going to kill him for this.

_Sirius's Flashback: _

"_We should just tell her. It's my secret after all." Remus stated exasperatedly. _

"_No and it's not just your secret anymore it's ours, the rules changed when we became animagi. And for Lily 'friends' backstab each other all the time this isn't a secret we can afford to be discovered. It would mean getting expelled for us and getting chucked in Azkaban." I argued; still reeling from James's revelation of apparent love for Lily. I hated it when he did that because she only thought of him as a friend I was positive. _

"_Sirius, she's our friend she wouldn't do that to us." James said defensively; god listening to his crush would be annoying for the next few months. _

"_She'd go all goody two shoes on us again god can't you hear her now." I adopted a high pitched squeal and put both my hands on my hips. "That is so dangerous you could get expelled for that; you could die for heaven's sake!" I imitated her. I knew then it was cruel what I just did to her but she's not trustworthy. Then I caught James's antagonistic glare; it said you're a hypocrite Sirius. However Remus's and Peter's reaction differed from James's, Peter was laughing so hard he was crying and Remus was Switzerland; again. _

"_How could you say that about her?" James asked thunderously and with more power and anger emanating from him ever before. Peter's laughter stopped abruptly and instead shrunk back from James "For heaven's sake she's the reason I'm still friends with you. Remember when you dated Sienna Moore even though you knew I liked her? She was the one who persuaded me to talk to you again. Hell when you got that howler sent you from your family who the hell cursed it so that it exploded outside of the great hall? This and everything else she's done for us how can you say that? How could you make fun of her like that?" James half yelled. _

"_Well how can you put Moony's future in jeopardy because you want a chance with Lily?" James had no answer to this as I knew he wouldn't, my plan had worked; our secret would be safe. Although I knew it was over with Lily I couldn't help but be happy after all she was friends with Snivellus for god's sake. Her friendship with him was the only thing that kept them from pranking him now he could do as he pleased. Suddenly Lily came through the door took one look at us dropped her and stormed into the corridor. James walked to the portrait hole and ran after her. I just grabbed the map and the invisibility cloak. Tonight it was most definitely over. _

Meanwhile Lily was in her room with her heart torn out again all because James Potter had made her realize how much she still did care. Even though she turned him down time after time she still did care. She cared that had lost James and Remus and peter and Sirius. But most of all she still cared that even after all this time they still had the power to bring her to tears. God she was so bloody stupid to allow them this power over her. Even worse she was pathetic for crying about it. Suddenly she heard Mary come in and she tried to stop the flood of tears so she could be there for her friend.

"Lils" she whispered tentatively.

"Yeah?" Lily answered in a sob.

"Do you finally want to talk about what happened? I mean you've been weird about me and Sirius since we've been going out and then James Potter of all people gets you upset. I think I should know but only if you're ready." Mary said softly. Although Mary knew how to manipulate things to her ends, she was sincere in everything she said. Lily knew Mary had a right to know but she didn't feel like obliging.

"Not today Mary; you're right you have a right to know but not now. Just make sure Sirius doesn't pry I can't take that right now." Lily sobbed.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Lily awoke after everyone else had already gotten dressed and left for breakfast. Despite the fact she cried herself to sleep last night she still felt excitement over the first classes of the year start. This morning she had Potions with Slughorn; potions just came naturally for her although that means she'd have to see Severus which she was not keen on doing. That was when she realized the time.

She had to skip breakfast in order to make it to potions on time. She scrambled to get ready but when she was done she had five minutes to run down seven floors. She ran along the dungeon corridors when Dorcas a Ravenclaw with whom she was friends ran into her. "Hey" Lily greeted as she ran she only had a minute before the bell rang. "Hey" Dorcas greeted as she easily ran with her. "So I had a question." She started

"Shoot."

"Well; you know Remus?" She asked uncertainly. Lily stopped running and turned to look at Dorcas.

"Yeah?" Lily asked looking at her queerly.

"Well I kinda like him and I know your friends with him or used to be at any rate."

"And?" Lily implored.

"Well could you tell me anything that would help about him?" Lily lifted an eyebrow.

"He likes honesty; he likes to be honest and he likes it in return. He likes either mysterious shy approachable girls or girls that have a wild interior. Look I can't talk right now because I'll be late but if you need anything else ask ok. I know he had his eye on you a few years ago that may or may not be the case still but you should talk to him." Lily said hurriedly.

"Alright can we talk about this later in private?" Dorcas asked uncertainly. Dorcas was never really this unhinged; she always used to be so self assured. Lily finally let the fact she was going to be late for potions slide.

"Yeah sure." Dorcas turned and left but when Lily was about to she called out to her. "Lily; we both know that you used to have a crush on James. There has to be a reason why you keep saying no." Lily's heart throbbed painfully especially bad since those old wounds had been ripped open recently. This pain made her voice more harsh than necessary.

"Tonight Dorcas; not now." Dorcas taken aback at the thunder in Lily's voice just waved and ran to class. Just then the bell rang. Lily sprinted down the hall into the class where Slughorn neglected the fact she came in three minutes after the bell. She took the open place next to Mary. She took in the people around her there were only a couple of Ravenclaws and only four other Gryffindors besides herself. Remus, Sirius Mary and James were the other four to Lily's chagrin. Slughorn was fiddling with a bunch of papers at his desk when he finally pulled one free.

"Ah the seating chart!" Lily froze fate once again was going to kill her. One by one he pointed to each seat but instead of sitting next to James she ended up sitting next to Sirius. Lily's tense pose thawed as she picked up her stuff and moved next to Black. She sighed Sirius never completely liked her but it was better than James.

"Hi Evans." He greeted.

"Hey Black." Lily responded politely.

"So when are you going to forgive James flower." Ok maybe she would take James. Lily gave threw him a disgusted look.

"That's not a reply." Sirius said smugly. However before Lily could hex him James threw a paper ball at his head. Sirius threw James a dirty look but didn't talk to her for the rest of the period. As Lily walked out as Remus came up to Sirius and Mary who was at his side.

"So when are you going to tell James?" Remus asked him knowing this conversation would annoy him.

"I'm not going to." Sirius said throwing Remus a dirty look.

"Tell him what?" Mary asked interestedly.

"Oh I don't know; what am I referring to Padfoot?" Remus chuckled darkly clearly angry at Sirius. Sirius snarled in anger at Remus who was walking away. Mary looked at Sirius questioningly.

"Sirius?" Mary asked on the verge of annoyance.

"Remus wants me to tell James something. Something I can never tell him, because it's horrible what I did. It'll affect everything we stand for. It'll affect us." Sirius said knowing Remus got him into deep shit.

"Sirius you can tell me." Mary half begged all traces of annoyance gone. She stared into his grey eyes and she was instantly sucked in; she was drowning in that sea of grey. If he couldn't tell her this there was a lot more he couldn't tell her. Mary knew he had a right to his secrets but if it involved her in some way then she had to know.

"Mary, please not now; later." He asked of her with an unexpected harsh edge to his voice. Mary was not taken aback by his sudden mood change but she slowly turned her back on him and walked away.

The rest of the day passed by in relative ease except for Lily who was dismayed to find that James was in all of her classes. Thankfully he did not sit next to her or even try to talk to her. Eventually Lily wandered down to the great hall for dinner and sat near Mary who looked forlorn.

"Mer what's wrong?" Lily asked incredibly concerned for her friend.

"Something's up with Sirius and it has something to do with James and us. He was incredibly angry about it. Remus brought it up and looked equally pissed."

"Well you guys have this relationship based on honesty." Lily almost smiled but as ridiculous as it sounded, it was true. They knew everything about each other or so Lily thought. "So he'll tell you when he's ready."

"Yeah I'll go talk to him." Mary got up and walked up to the Gryffindor common room where Sirius was bound to be. However as she got to the fat lady portrait she wasn't so sure she wanted to know. She turned away from the portrait but then what Lily had said rang in her mind and she pushed the portrait open. As she expected, Sirius was at a table in the corner of the crowded common room doing an essay assigned by Flitwick on sleeping charms. She took the seat across from him; He only looked up at her.

"So what is it?" She asked. Sirius's heart sank Lily was her sister and after finding out that Lily liked James may be even after all this time; And then for her to find out that he ruined it because of a jealously problem; it would ruin them. He stared into her eyes and leaned in for a kiss from her. At first their lips touched but then the pressure in Mary's chest exploded and she seized his mouth with her own. Then he grabbed her waist and pulled her face up to meet his. He tasted her thoroughly knowing that it could very well be the last time. With every touch there was an electric reaction pulsing throughout each of their bodies. Then he pulled away leaving Mary dazed from the kiss.

"Do you still want to know?" He asked seductively. Mary finally regained her composure.

"Don't think for a second I will forget about this. But that was one hell of a kiss." She grinned at him his and her worries forgotten for the time being. Wanting to be on top Mary led him up the boy's dormitory stairs with a seductive smiled playing across her luscious lips.

James P.O.V present:

Ah finally the day was over now I could go fly on my broom for a little while before I go to sleep. I hurried from the great hall up to the Gryffindor common room. The halls were eerily silent and I wished to leave them as soon as possible. Silence was uncomfortable for me as it reminded me of a death eater attack. I jogged up the stairs and into the common room. Strangely enough the common room was empty as if it was after hours.

I turned to sit in the chintz chairs and stared into the fire watching the colors fade from yellow to orange to red and back again. The motions of the shadows were calming I could almost forget about Lily. I could almost forget about the fact I couldn't tell her we became animagi. But what I could not forget was that she said if I had told her we might have been together, or that we might still be together. Even as friends; I winced, I don't think I could do the friends thing not without an ulterior motive. _But it would be better than nothing_ a part of my brain whispered. I sighed this was way too hard but there was no way I could give up not now. Not when she revealed there was a chance and maybe there still could be a chance. Suddenly I heard someone coming down the dormitory stairs. It was Sirius coming down looking mildly pleased. He sat down on a chair near the fire next to my own.

"So any luck with Lily?" he asked.

"None." I didn't really want to talk about her right now. Thinking about her was painful enough but talking about it was even worse.

"Well you know her she'll come around eventually mate." Sirius encouraged. It was odd in second year he was against Lily and I but in the last few years he'd come around maybe it was Mary.

"Don't think she will not this time." I replied.

"Why what happened?"

"She said didn't care that she wasn't friends with us anymore but I told her she wouldn't be so pissed if she didn't." Sirius cocked an eyebrow. That was when Remus and Peter came blundering in through the door with the map underneath Remus's arm. Sirius immediately looked solemn which was rare for him. He usually enjoyed himself when all marauders were together.

"Hey guys." Sirius began which a pleading tone. This was going to be bad if Sirius was already pleading and looked guilty. Remus and Peter sat in chairs near us.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"So Wanna tell Mary about Remus and us by any chance?" He asked. That was when I lost it.

Normal P.O.V: Later that day……

Lily was walking the dungeon corridors on her way up from Slughorn's office when she heard a disturbance echoing from across the hall. When she saw a group of Slytherins among them Bellatrix Black and Lucious Malfoy, she quickly hid. She could see that they were not tormenting anybody but she eavesdropped.

"That was when he burned it into my arm right there." Lily could not see who said it and did not dare to turn around in case she got caught.

"We all know what it's like because we've all had it done." A smooth deep manly voice interrupted.

"Look what good it's done us I mean he won't even let us in on the attack he's planning at Hogsmeade. He won't tell us anything such as when, who's coming, none of it." a high pitched girl's voice continued.

"Moron that's because we're under the watchful eye of Dumbledore he has to protect his secrets. We must finish school so we can be of further use to him what can we do if we're ignorant of magic?" That was when a hand clamped over her mouth and was dragged backwards into a secret passageway. Unfortunately she dropped a bottle of ink and the clatter alerted the Slytherins. Luckily however she was in a passageway and was unnoticed by the Slytherins. She looked to see James Potter as her hero.

"We're in a fight what're you doing here stalking me?" Lily asked surprised.

"Well you see I heard a disturbance like you did except I knew about this little passageway. So, sorry, but I'm not stalking you. " He said sarcastically. Lily just glared at him. Suddenly he changed demeanor; he became very repentant and shy which was unusual for him.

"Lil, for once just look at me without a hateful glare." James pleaded.

"James I did that; I have done that but you crossed the line this time." Lily replied dropping the glare but not the stern and cold voice.

"Lily is it true what you said about us being together? That is if we had told you?" He asked. Lily's heart gave a painful squeeze and immediately regretted telling him that; it was bound to hurt both him and her. She deserved the pain it brought but he did not. He didn't need this on top of his parents dying.

"Yes; but the time has come and gone for that. It hurt too much to keeping liking you so I let it go. I'm sorry for telling you that James. I shouldn't have." Lily said softly holding back tears.

"I'm not sorry you told me that Lily; but I do have one question." James said adopting a stern voice no longer pleading.

"Yeah."

"If we told you do you think we could be friends again like we used to?" James closed his eyes and tightened them as if waiting for impact. He took a step closer to Lily taking her hands in his. Lily swallowed, she couldn't think straight near him, he was like a drug tantalizingly close yet if she took a taste she'd never let the habit go. What was she doing? James Potter it's James Potter get your imagination off of him! Her mind screamed.

Lily squeezed his hands and looked into his hazel eyes. She was falling into them there was no end and no beginning. Nothing held her to the earth except the color hazel; she couldn't feel her feet on the ground or which way her body leaned. It was like being in a drunken stupor only so much better.

"We couldn't be friends like before; too much damage has been done but we could be more than acquaintances. But James understand with this there are no promises."

"But we'd have a shot?" He asked determinedly.

"A better chance than if you didn't." She replied her voice still soft.

"Can we still trust you?" He asked staring hardly into her eyes his grip on her hands strong.

"Yes."

"Lily are you serious about this? And forget the Sirius pun it's so overdone. Answer me truthfully." James spoke in rush all of the words seem to blend into one giant word. Luckily Lily's mind was in overdrive from the quick changing of her emotions so she caught it.

"Yes. Mind you Mary will still be my best friend but I can keep whatever you're hiding, from her. You better make damn sure that they're going to tell me because if they don't agree I will never even, so much as look in your direction." Lily admonished fiercely. couldn't believe after all this time she might finally know. She might get her old friends back and keep the new.

James smiled "Mary won't be a problem. I think they'll agree this time." Lily knitted her eyebrows together skeptically. She was on bad terms with Sirius and Peter. The only one who she seemed to keep in touch with after the great schism was Remus. Two against two; there was no way he'd win this.

"I have my ways Lily-kins." He said to her disbelieving face as if he'd heard what she was thinking. Lily just rolled her eyes but she gathered her books and wandered down the passageway with James keeping pace at her side.

"So what's new?" He asked trying to be nonchalant after their semi-make –up conversation.

"Well apparently according to what I overheard there's going to be an attack on Hogsmeade. Voldemort's orchestrating it but he won't tell them anything about it." Lily said.

"Well would you? Hell they were discussing it in the corridor where anyone would overhear at any time of course he wouldn't tell them. They'd give it away."

Lily sighed, "Yeah you're right Guess that's why we haven't been able to track him or predict where he'll attack next because he's good at keeping things secret."

"That and the problem he's the most powerful wizard since Albus Dumbledore." He added.

"Yeah that too; How is Sirius's family life going I heard he got kicked out this summer?" Lily asked uncertainly.

"Don't talk to me about Sirius." James snapped Lily immediately recoiled.

"What's up James?" Lily asked with her eyebrows cocked. James stared at her sternly refusing to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer:I do not own Harry potter or the characters. just for your info. _

_This took forever to get out I know I'm sorry I'm working on the next chapter as we speak expect it in the next few days. Some problems block Lily and James's way. _

_Thank you yellow flower for my lone review :]_

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"Well what's up between you and Sirius?" Lily asked again not backing down. She knew he'd cave sooner or later there's no way he'd risk a fight with her now. He merely kept walking and left Lily to keep pace at his side with him. For a long time they walked this passageway; it never seemed to end. The dimly lit torches on the narrow walls illuminated their way. The cobblestones on the walls were covered in filth grease and cobwebs. Their every footstep echoed in the narrow hall. After about 20 minutes of walking in the hallway they came to the foot of some stairs. The stairs were wooden and were supported by fragile beams. They curled in a spiral around one metal pole. James just jogged up the stairs but Lily was more hesitant; the stairs were fragile and it was a long way to climb. James looked back when he didn't hear her remotely behind him.

"Scared Lily?" He taunted from two flights above her.

"No." She said determinedly. She proceeded to climb up the stairs and when she was about a flight below him Crack! A stair had given way underneath her weight. The adrenaline was pounding though her system and it slowed down the environment around her. She quickly leaned forward and grabbed the next stair with her hands. The blood was pumping throughout her body going for what felt like her ears. Suddenly she felt James's strong arms grab her hands and pull her up. He pulled her onto his body and she collapsed on top of him. He still held on to her form tight against his muscular body. They were both breathing heavily. His breath mingled with hers as she breathed in his scent.

"So you really want to know what Sirius did?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yeah what's so bad?" Lily asked still breathless. What an odd time to tell her about this.

"It's that; it's what he did to the both of us. What he told you." James stammered.

"What did he tell me?" Lily urged wanting to get to the bottom of this.

"Before I asked you out the very first time. He told you that I was only doing it for a bet. All because he was afraid of what might happen to our friendship if we got together." Lily's eyebrows rose she remembered telling Remus last week in a letter but he didn't seem that upset about it. Lily's heart faltered as the reality she had known as James Potter to be shattered.

"He was lying?" She asked

"Yeah he was lying. But I don't think it matters anymore what had been done is done. When Mary heard all of this she was furious I don't think that girl could have been madder than she was then. She's like your sister that girl is. I doubt that Sirius got her to come down from her room yet." Lily sighed deeply.

"What?" James asked interestedly.

"I hope she doesn't break up with him because he's great for her."

"Do you not care that he ruined a chance for us?" James asked angrily. His hazel eyes glinted dangerously.

"James I'm not doing this for Sirius I care about Mary and as much as I hate Sirius right now he's right for her. Now he will get his just desserts Mary will see to that and even if she doesn't I have a plan for the both of us to enact." Lily replied. James lifted his eyebrows intrigued.

"Go on." He urged.

Around midnight James and Lily finally found themselves in the common room bursting out laughing at old stories and jokes. They both crashed on the couches exhausted and talked for several more hours until they only had five hours until breakfast. They quickly bade goodnight and went back to their prospective dormitories.

When Lily awoke the next morning it was before everyone else had even contemplated getting up. Strangely despite the sleep deprivation she felt better than she ever could have under the circumstances. The time she had spent with James immediately softened her hard exterior.

Suddenly a huge bang from across the room disturbed Lily's thoughts. Mary had dropped a vase from her nightstand. Lily got up out of bed and ran to Mary's side and whispered "Reparo" Lily sighed and crawled back into her own bed.

"Lily?" Mary asked her voice strangely clear.

"Yeah," Lily replied as she walked back to Mary's bedside.

"Do you know what Sirius did to you and James? Did James tell you?" Mary sounded as if she'd been awake for hours.

"Yeah he did; and uh if I were you I'd stay away from Sirius for today at any rate."

"Why?" Mary asked questioningly.

"Well let's say he's new passion for life today." Lily hinted a small smile coming to her face.

"Huh?" And so Lily began to explain.

Later that morning Lily and Mary were seen at the great hall eating breakfast. When Sirius came into the hall with an amused looking James. Every head in the hall was turned towards Sirius; Lily and Mary giggled. Sirius donned a frilly pink dress and had his hair curled and make up on. Lily could have sworn that she would have died laughing if McGonnagal hadn't shot her a reproving stare. James caught her eye and they both laughed knowing that neither of them could have brought this together without the other.

Sirius sat down near Lily and donned a tiny angry girl's pout.

"So Lily this is your idea of funny?" He asked in his shrill high pitched voice.

"Yes but more than that it's my idea of revenge." Lily said cocking an eyebrow. Sirius flushed and the most hideous circular red dots appeared on Sirius's cheeks.

"When does this curse wear off? I'm tired of all my things turning pink and getting even worse when I try to turn them and more than that I'm tired of this damn voice!" Sirius cried except that his cry became a shriek with his voice.

"Oh things'll turn to normal in say twenty four hours but until that time enjoy being a girl." Lily replied with a hint of a smile coming to her features.

"Oh and Sirius mess with me and Lily again we will come up with something even more frightening than this next time." James threatened darkly. Sirius looked afraid and let out a tiny girl's gasp but as soon as the gasp was let out a hint of irritation clouded his features. Lily took in the sight of the great hall everyone Slytherins included stared at Sirius with amused eyes and giggles. Even Mary was amused but then again she wasn't n talking basis with Sirius for at least another three days. Sirius merely let out a pouty sigh which caused James and Lily to look at each other and laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclamier: Don't own harry potter or the characters. **

**A/N This chapter is kind of short because some problems are going to get in the way of Lily and James and I'm preparing the story for it; anyhow this chapter is still important no matter how short it is. I have been trying to update at least once a week. Once break starts for me there should be more. Also sorry about the tiny font problem at the end kind of. Anyhow thank you for reading and Review ! **

**speaking of reviewers thank you Ranma's girl1 for reviewing last chapter :] **

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And so Sirius the girl made her debut. Lily was so grateful that she had most of her classes with him; for once that is. There was no way he could even try to get her back either by hexing her or by making sarcastic comments. Every time he even thought about hexing her, pink daisies erupted from his wand and scattered all over the room. As a matter of fact if he tried to use magic at all, pink daisies would erupt from his wand. During potions Lily took her seat next to Mary and began brewing a common antidote to most poisons called l'amour. Mary did not even attempt to touch the potion because she had a bad history of turning it black and having it melt wood and various bags. At the end of the period Slughorn merely pranced around the classroom holding lily's potion in a vial for everyone to see. Lily felt proud of herself until she heard some Hufflepuff she knew as Julianne to whisper to her friend Liza that she probably got help from James. But when Julianne saw the look on Lily's face she immediately blushed red and turned in the other direction. Lily knew that Julianne had a thing for James and she like Lily, used to be friends with him except that Julianne got on James's nerves whereas Lily did not. Lily merely frowned and shrugged it off but gathered her stuff and left the potions class.

"Lil Sirius has a problem with the curse." James started awkwardly.

"Why what happened?" Lily asked not really wanting to know.

"Well- - everything will turn back to normal eventually right?" James broke off for which Lily was grateful.

"Yeah nothing horrible happened right?" Lily asked concerned if he stayed a girl forever Mary would never forgive her.

"Well he started getting mood swings at the end of class and started crying. And er when he cried his tears were pink and glittered. And when he went to the loo and apparently the same thing happened."

"Oh. Well we wrote the spell to turn everything he uhh emits pink and that's what happening. It'll wear off with the curse." Lily awkwardly said.

"Well He won't be doing any double crossing ever." James replied as they walked up the stairs to DADA. That was when Shane caught up to Lily.

"James Lil are you the ones really responsible for the fact Sirius is literally turning pink?" Shane asked skeptically. Lily not wanting to lie to one of her better friends replied with a cautious "Yes."

Shane turned wide eyed and her lips turned a ghostly white. Lily looked at her friend with anxiety. "Shane Are you ok?"

"You won't do this to any of us would you?" she asked horrified.

"No, No, No Sirius did something to me and James that required us getting even I will fill you and the girls in on this tonight."

"Why tonight?" Shane asked warily.

"Uhh first Friday of the year we hang out its tradition." Lily reminded her. Shane frowned.

"Well Amos and I kinda wanted to go to Hogsmeade tonight but I guess I can cancel."

"Uh no if its important to you the girls and I won't mind." Lily told her.

"Catch me up later ok. Is Saturday morning good?" Shane asked.

"Perfect." Lily conceded. Lily was worried she was sure that this fear of her and James wasn't coming from just Shane. Nonetheless James and Lily walked up to their next class together.

Their next lesson was Transfiguration with McGonnagal. James and Lily were forced to sit next to each other due to Sirius's insistence he sit near Mary. Why he would insist was beyond James and Lily, because Mary apart from a few sniggers here and there was refusing to acknowledge Sirius's existence. So Lily plopped herself down next to James and leaned back in her chair slightly. She wasn't exactly uptight around James, not that she ever really was anyway; but even less so under the influence of James Potter.

McGonnagal walked hurriedly into the front of the classroom with a bunch of papers in her arms. She then dropped them from their weight and used her wand to hand them out. It was a thick packet with the bold headline **STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM.**

Lily flipped through it but then James nudged her and passed a piece of folded paper to her.

_this is the study abroad program they do for advanced programs every year are you going to do it?_

_-James_

Nah I don't care for going out of England for the moment and I do not enjoy leaving my friends. 

-Lily

Lily passed her reply to James and he considered it and nodded in her direction in what Lily could assume was assention.

Mcgonnagal chose that moment to discuss what it was.

"This is the only study abroad program we do in Hogwarts it's a type of scholarship application if you will; you get paid to represent hogwarts at the prestigious academy of Beauxbatons. You live there for a semester and take classes there but to be accepted for this you need to write a well written essay on why you should be chosen for this what makes you qualified over other students. Anyhow that is the application go for it if you will or don't but we have lesson to continue with."

And continue with the lesson they did. They learned how to turn themselves into animals in which only Sirius James and Peter suceeded. This seemed suspicious to Lily because they never cared to grasp something this quickly before. Lily caught James's suspicious glare. James turned away embarrassed and guiltily Lily's hawk eyes bored into him like lasers and he knew he was going to combust if he did not tell her soon.


	7. Premonition

**A/N ah I get alot accomplished when I have a few sickdays anyhow enjoy you won't see one for a while until I get caught up on my work. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED thnx **

**Disclaimer: Don't own harry potter or the characters they're all Rowlings **

**next chapter will take place a few months after this. I have everything planned as I have said enjoy :] **

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**Premonition:**

Later that day James and Lily went into the great hall to take their seats at dinner but Lily was interrupted by Dorcas. She left James Sirisuse and Mary together to go in the hall with Dorcas.

"So Dorcas what's up?" Lily asked concernedly who kept walking because her voice echoed off the walls.

"Well I think Remus may like me and I want to find out more. Julianne and Shane both told me he likes me." Dorcas blushed as they walked towards the potions corridor.

"I can always find out for you of course but this is something you should discuss with him." Dorcas smiled.

"I knew Julianne was wrong about you."

"What? You mean Julianne as in the Hufflepuff? What has she got to do with this?" Lily asked; Julianne had displayed a certain antagonism for Lily lately.

"Well she said that you were a crappy friend and probably wouldn't care to help me with this. She said the fact you walked out on James back in second year proves that." Dorcas said backing up unintentionally. She knew Lily's temper was about to be unleashed.

"What the hell would she know about it? She was not even friends with him at that time and this isn't something James would discuss with that bitch least of all." Lily fumed with her eyes blazing and her face upturned in fury.

"Woah that's one of my friends and you know she's just jealous of your relationship with James. She wishes she had that. She's convinced that he'll ask her out soon and she thinks you're jeopardizing that."

"Well I'm not James and I are just friends." Lily assured Dorcas. Dorcas merely threw her a skeptical look. "Anyhow I'll talk to Remus we're hanging out in Gryffindor common room tonight so I'll pry for you." Lily continued after she ignored Dorcas's 'ha-ha you're full of shit' look.

"Thanks. And by the way Lily, Eric is hell bent on getting you back he wants to start trouble so be on the lookout okay?" Dorcas told her as she left. Lily then headed back to the great hall where she took her place next to James. She looked back towards Eric who was indeed leering at her. Lily suppressed a shudder and engaged in James's conversation about who was going to win the cup this year.

Later that night Mary was walking around the corridors alone while Lily Jude Lizzie Katie and Alice talked about boys quidditch and how Lily and James were 'meant to be.' Girl's night just sickened Mary she didn't particularly like any of them except for Lily and Alice. The rest of them were just manipulative bitches particularly Lizzie and Shane.

Mary sighed as she watched floor tile after floor tile disappear beneath her feet. She still couldn't believe that Sirius did that to Lily and James and all because of jealousy? What else would he do to Mary just because he was _jealous_.

Mary sighed and looked out the astronomy tower window. She lowered herself onto the ledge and sat there to think.

Mary felt like she dozed off for a second but when she awoke Hogwarts was considerably brighter and the atmosphere was happy. It wasn't tense like it was now; there wasn't a dark wizard on the brink of destroying the world as they know it. But she couldn't be sure considering the halls were empty and there was not a soul around even the painting that usually covered the walls were empty. It was also daylight; when Mary fell asleep it had been dark.

She ran as fast as she could to the girls dormitory and found that it had been completely refurbished and her bed was covered in red flower petals as was Lily's and Alice's. This must be Sirius's way of apologizing but why flower Lily's Alice's Shane's and Lizzie's? Mary thought confused at the display of kindness and definite flirting. Mary played with the petals but noted the petals felt like liquid and smelled of some odd substance that was familiar to Mary yet she couldn't place a name. She broke a petal and the flower oozed blood; human blood. Mary gave a bloodcurdling scream and ran to the bathroom where the water could not wash the blood from her hands.

She ran around Hogwarts in tears to find someone anyone and that was when she found someone in the great hall. Their back was turned and Mary did not who it was. She sprinted for the cloaked man but found that she knew who it was yet she did not know exactly who. Mary hugged him and cried as he held her. He then whispered "Sorry Mary but I have to save myself" before he stabbed her in the back. She saw the dead apparition of Lily before the darkness consumed her.

Mary was then shaken awake by Sirius. A Sirius who was no longer wearing any pink because the curse had worn off. She jumped into his arms and cried still freaked about the dream.

"Whoa Mary are you ok?" Sirius asked concernedly.

"I had a nightmare. It was bloody awful." Mary whispered.

"Mary did you fall in water or something?" Sirius asked, looking into her eyes their lips barely touching.

"No why?" Mary asked.

"Stand still." Sirius let her go and Mary crumpled to the floor. Sirius examined her back and to his horror blood was pouring out of her by the gallon. Sirius scooped her up in his arms and ran her to the hospital wing.

James was sitting by the fireplace examining the map when he saw two dots labeled Sirius and Mary in capacity to each other heading to the hospital wing. James decided to meet them and check.

James headed down corridor after corridor praying to god Sirius wasn't hurt because of his curse. To his shock and disgust he saw Mary pale white and bleeding as Sirius carried her to the hospital wing which was just up the hall. James jogged along with Sirius

"What happened?" James demanded.

"I found her sleeping in the corridor sleeping screaming her head off and I woke her up and she was crying about some bloody nightmare and I noticed her back was wet I checked and carried her here." Sirius grunted and he ran.

They made it into the hospital wing with James behind him unable to keep up with Sirius's desperation. Madame Pomfrey Asked Sirius what happened and he told her the exact same story he told James.

"James get the headmaster and Sirius tell Lily Evans what has happened. Never in all my years has this happened." Pomfrey ended in a murmur.

As James ran to get the headmaster Sirius ran to the dormitory and called to Lily.

Lily heard Sirius's desperate call and ended her girl's night when Sirius told her what happened.

"How did this happen? Who did it?" Lily demanded angrily.

"I don't know but trust me if I find out they won't make it another day." Sirius growled.

"Let's go back Sirius I don't think Mary will want to be alone right now." Lily said. Sirius sighed and they ran all the way down the stairs to hospital wing. When they got there the headmaster was already there in a hushed circle conferring with madam Pomfrey and professor McGonnagal. Sirius took the bed closest to Mary and Lily sat next to him. James merely put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. Lily and James heard Professor Dumbledore give a long sigh and turn to them.

"You should not fear for Mary's life for all is well. She was subject to one of the most powerful premonitions I have seen in all my years she was literally almost killed by her own magic."

"Will this happen again?" Sirius asked hardened who looked at Mary intensely looking stone hard and impossible to budge.

"Only time will tell. She may have premonitions to this degree of power I don't know but she needs her friends here at any rate. The psychological damage that this has done to Mary may be catastrophic she needs support so I suggest you stay here."

"I was never going anywhere." Sirius replied still staring at Mary's sweaty pale face.

"Neither were we." James replied confidently.

"Well then any open bed is free for you to use." Dumbledore said accommodatingly. Lily took the one on the other side of Mary and James took the one next to Sirius's.

"She'll be alright mate." James whispered to Sirius.

"I know." Sirius said "I know."

The next morning Lily woke up unable to remember where she was and why she was there. Then she turned over and saw Mary on the bed. When Lily last saw her Mary was alive and thriving. Now Mary just looked dead, her lips were white and bloodless her eyelids were purple and Mary's hair had streaks of bleach blonde going through it. It must have been from the shock Lily mused. Lily re-felt the horror of Mary's somewhat attack wash through her again and felt herself crying. She had nearly lost one of her good friends tonight and the worst part was there was no enemy. No attacker that did this to her it was Mary's own magic. Her magic maimed her and left her half dead, they couldn't defeat her magic only time would tell when it would happen again. Maybe Sirius won't be around the next time, maybe she'll bleed to death. As Lily thought about all of this she felt her blood run cold and she started shuddering and crying. She wasn't sobbing al that loud or hard but James heard her anyway and held her the way a friend should. She was crushed against his chest as she shook but after awhile she finally was able to stop.

Lily dozed off against his chest exhausted not really wanting to move again from this spot. When she next awoke Lily was using James's chest as pillow and James himself was asleep. Suddenly Lily's stomach grumbled and she slid out from underneath James and hurried to breakfast. She took a place near Shane and took an extra plate and piled it with food. There was not enough food in the world to feed both James and Sirius but Lily could try. She hurried back to the hospital room ignoring Shane's prying questions. Lily was sure Mary would have been irked if she awoke to find Shane there blabbing about some random problem. Lily found herself back in the hospital wing less than 10 minutes from when she left. The only difference was that James was awake.

"I wondered where you went." James said clearly relieved that she came back.

"Well I decided to play food fairy. Sirius still asleep?" Lily asked.

"Yeah he was up for most of the night but now he's paying for it. At this rate Mary will be up before Sirius." James told Lily.

"What are we going to do any time she falls asleep this could happen. She could die." Lily's voice cracked on the last word of her sentence. James grabbed her in a hug again.

"I'm sure Dumbledore will have some enchantments over her bed from now on he wouldn't let her walk around unprotected like that." James reassured her.

Mary stirred in her bed and stretched as if she hadn't moved in a long time.

"Hey." Mary greeted groggily "Where am I?" Lily broke from James's embrace and grasped Mary's flailing hand in her smaller colder one. Behind her James's face slid into a pout at Lily leaving his arms; the pout was not unmissed by Mary. Mary's glance turned from James's disappointed one to Lily's anxious one.

"You're in the hospital wing hun." Lily told her.

"Why?" Mary asked confused she clearly did not remember what had happened.

"The nightmare you had in the astronomy tower do you remember it?" Lily asked.

"I remember dozing off but then I awoke here. I remember three separate dreams put into one. One I was stabbed in but I don't remember why how or who. Where's Sirius?" Mary asked. As soon as Mary said his name Sirius awoke. Sirius half shoved Lily out of the way. Not expecting the brusque abrupt gesture Lily fell into James's arms. Sirius merely played with Mary's hair and began to explain everything to her.

"Lils Mary will want to talk to Sirius alone let's give them some privacy." James whispered in Lily's ear. Lily nodded grasped Mary's hand as a parting gesture and waved. Mary waved back half heartedly due to her frailty.

James and Lily walked back to the common room in silence. Lily was calmed about Mary by James's mere presence it was funny how they become best friends again in the short time they started talking to each other. It was even funnier how Lily's promise to never even consider James as a potential boyfriend was quickly unnecessary. Lily smiled at James before she gave the password to the fat lady. Lily was sure by the end of this year she and James will be together or one of them will be dead.


	8. Fight

**Ok so I'm sorry about the delay school sucks. But there is a good piece of news; I am on break which means more updates! **

**Disclaimer: Do not own Rowling does, **

**thank you yellow flower for your review :)**

Three weeks after Mary's premonition she was out of the hospital wing and thriving in her classes. Sirius and Mary finally patched things up with the whole 'I messed up chances for our friends because I'm a deceptive bastard' thing and they were as happy as ever. The only ones who it seemed were full of angst were James and Lily who were heading down the friends path. More like stuck on the friends path. They both wanted more but both had too much pride at stake to tell the other.

Lily however had bigger problems than this; she ex boyfriend Eric would not simply leave her alone. He'd wait in empty corridors that she knew she had to walk to, to get from class to class and beg for her forgiveness. His behavior creeped her out and she tried to get James Mary Sirius or any one of her friends to come with her. It's not as if Eric would attack her but she was afraid he wouldn't leave her alone and let her go after the guy she wanted. She was afraid of what he would do to James out of jealousy.

_Flashback:_

"_Lils" Eric whispered from behind her. Lily jumped ten feet in the air but turned around only to accidently hit Eric across his chest. He took a hold of her shoulders and kissed her lightly. The kiss fell flat it was passionless, much like the relationship. Eric smiled into the kiss but Lily kept her arms firmly at her sides and her lips closed. The memorable view Lily got of Sienna and Eric was enough to make Lily to want to go into the bathroom and disinfect everywhere Eric touched. _

"_Lils are you ok?" Eric asked concernedly. _

"_No I'm breaking up with you." Lily began but was swiftly cut off by Eric. _

"_It's pothead Potter isn't it? What been screwing him in the broom closet? Everyone knows you have a thing for him you whore." Eric half yelled the envy in his voice rising causing him to scream into her face. Lily's jaw clenched at the insult but she refused to let someone as worthless as Eric make her angry._

"_No I'm not into Potter. But the broom closet you say; you should know that place pretty well considering all the time you spend with Sienna in there." Eric eyes widened at her knowledge of his side relationship but then he drew his wand from his back pocket. However Lily was faster she had him disarmed and knocked on his ass faster than he could blink._

_The next day Lily however heard reports of Eric bullying her friends calling them horrible names and hexing them merely because they still talked to her and they refused to help him win Lily back. _

/ flash back

Lily hurried up the corridor she was meeting Dorcas in the astronomy tower but once she was done there she was meeting James. Lily's fickle heart fluttered at the mere thought of James. Lily wanted nothing more than to yell at him to ask her out already but James decided to become shy as of late. Lily tripped over several misplaced cobblestones on her way up but she didn't bother to look up Dorcas had said it was urgent. Lily made it up the tower steps to be greeted by a harsh wind and Dorcas's dark silhouette. Dorcas was leaning against the ledge with arms gripping each end of the window as she leaned out against the rickety broken balcony.

"Dorcas?" Lily asked trying not to startle her. Dorcas turned from the balcony, caught her bracelet on a spike and almost fell out the door before regaining her balance and falling back inside. "Sorry tried not to startle you." Lily told her as she offered a hand to help Dorcas up. Lily picked up Dorcas's silver bracelet; it must have been one of the most beautiful pieces of jewelry Lily had ever seen. It had a tiny hawk emblem on the crest but with a snake wrapped around its neck as if commanding it. Lily was taken aback at the clear Slytherin superiority shown in this bracelet. Lily tried her best to keep the horror off her face at the thought that Dorcas may be evil.

"Wow," Lily said breathlessly.

"Yeah my uh uncle got it for me." Dorcas stammered.

"It's beautiful." Lily told her.

"So I just wanted to ask whether Remus has said anything about me." Dorcas asked blushing furiously.

"He likes you. He told us all last night he really likes you Dorcas." Lily reassured her smiling.

"I don't deserve him. I have done horrible things, unforgiveable things." Dorcas muttered.

"What have you done?" Lily asked.

"Just bad things, things I'm horribly ashamed of. Things I've done to my family I'm just a horrible person." Dorcas cried.

"No we've all made mistakes in the past it's only right that we are forgiven for them. But first you have to forgive yourself." Lily told her putting her arms around Dorcas's fragile frame.

Dorcas got up and asked to be alone for a little while Lily obliged; she needed to talk to James. Lily ran down the stairs and headed towards the Gryffindor common room. When she burst through the portrait hole James was calmly studying by the fire. He looked up bewildered by Lily's entrance but smiled as she sat down.

"Hey I just had a weird conversation with Dorcas." Lily began

"Well no conversation goes good when you begin it like that" James said wary of where it was going.

"Well how do you want me to start it?" Lily asked annoyed.

"I don't know." He said truthfully

"Then shut up and pay attention." James put down his books, adopted a serious look and straightened his slumped back. Lily brightened at his expression but continued in a less urgent tone. "Dorcas just met me in the astronomy tower and started saying weird stuff about how she has done things she regrets but I think she may be on Slytherins side because-"

"No." James stated adamantly. "There's no way she is and you're a liar for even saying it."

"But her bracelet!" Lily cried again.

"No she is on our side fighting for my side. She is in the order like I am but your not so don't go saying anything bad about her. She's saved my ass several times." James yelled

"No Lily. Forget it" James told her when she opened her mouth again. "I'll see you later." And so James walked out on her, and left Lily with deep wounds that felt like were gushing blood but that couldn't be healed with a simple visit to Madam Pomfrey. Lily tears burned her cheeks and wanted to move but had no will to.

What seemed like a millennium later, Sirius walked in through the door. When he realized it was lily crying he grabbed her in a bear hug.

"What's wrong flower?" He asked her.

"James and the Order and about how this war apparently doesn't affect me because I'm not in it." Lily stated sniffing because her sobs had subsided. Lily's anger had risen with the demise of her helplessness and gently broke from Sirius's embrace.

"Look Lil I love James like a brother but he can be an ass sometimes I know that just when you yell at him don't be too hard. It's a stressful environment."

"It's a stressful environment for any member of the light side. Just because I haven't been invited to join the order doesn't mean I wouldn't. It also doesn't mean I don't feel the effects of this war! My mother was tortured in one of their attacks last year I think you remember. She's lucky to be alive!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs. It was then she knew she was going to find James and scream at him. But before she did she needed to pose a thought to Sirius. "And for the Dorcas thing there are such things as spies. Tell James that." Lily shouted at him.

"What Dorcas thing?" Sirius asked to Lily's retreating form. Shane bumped into Lily on her way out the door and walked with her. All he got in response was the sound of Lily slamming the portrait door closed.

"Lily Are you ok?" Shane asked concernedly. Lily didn't reply to her but kept walking. "Lily stop!" Shane called to her. Lily did not stop but slowed her pace. "Shane I'm pissed at James everyone should know what that means by now. But all you need to know is that James doesn't seem to think I care about this bloody war and it doesn't affect me all because I thought Dorcas was acting a bit like a death eater!" Lily stopped to brace herself for Shane's reaction all Shane did was splutter. "Forget it I don't have time for this." Lily said angrily as she stalked to where she knew James was- the kitchens. Shane was left bewildered in her wake but went up the stairs in the opposite direction. Soon without even knowing how she got there she tickled the pear furiously and opened the door. The sight she saw only made her want to vomit her dinner.

_And yes I'm aware of how evil I am the next chapter will be short **but** will be up tomorrow bye until then :o] I hope you guys had good holidays!_


	9. The Many James'

_Where we left off: Soon without even knowing how she [Lily] got there she tickled the pear furiously and opened the door. The sight she saw only made her want to vomit her dinner. _

_Want a disclaimer read the other ones they apply for all chapters of this fanfiction. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER_

_ok so the next chapter is more interesting than this one. Believe it or not James and Lily took a step in the right direction. REVIEWS or else I m not going to update as much and work on the other fic I have started!_

Lily opened the door furiously only to see James in the corner with a sheet over himself and a slight woman. The girl turned over and Lily saw that it was Julianne. Lily noted that they were both full clothed but that she was kissing James her James! Lily's heart finally started to re-beat in her chest and her anger immediately subsided and was replaced by a feeling of hatred and betrayal and the need to revisit her dinner. James looked at her horrified expression and tried to say something but before he could Lily was out the door.

She ran up all three floors between her and the Gryffindor Common room. She ran up to the girl's dormitory and prayed Mary was there because she most certainly did not want to talk to Shane. Finally Lily's luck was working in her favor Mary was in her bed napping it looked like. Lily plopped herself on the other side of Mary's bed and Mary awoke with a start.

"What the hell?" Mary grumbled.

"Well I got mad at James because he said something untrue and stupid and I went to find him only to see him kissing Julianne." Lily stated. "So yes my dear What The Bloody Hell. I thought he liked me surely any day he'd have asked me out and I would've said yes except now he's kissing whorette." Mary sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes and then kicked Lily out of her bed.

"Lily I don't know what you're doing here still talking to me about this you should be telling James about this. I know he likes you he just isn't sure if you do."

"Are you kidding me!" Lily shrieked "I sent him all the bloody signs! He should know Why isn't he sure?"

"Gee Lily I don't know maybe it was four years worth of rejections?" Mary quickly hid under her pillow knowing Lily was going to go up another octave.

"Well then I'll just have to go tell him won't I?" Lily said normally without any shrieking.

"Yes Finally go." Mary told her. Just to spite her Lily left the curtain open when she left. Lily went to go find James. She wandered the corridors for an hour before she bumped into James and his new girlfriend. Seeing that made her lose her nerve she couldn't tell him when he was with another girl.

"Hi." She called out to James.

"Hey we're ok right. Well no we can't be first I yell at you tell you really untrue things; of course the war affects you but I stand by what I said about Dorcas she is as loyal as a Gryffindor. She's not evil. And also I'm sorry you got a full view of me and Julianne."

"It's ok." Lily breathed unable to do anything else. A lump had risen in her throat and she was unable to clear it. "I have got to go." Lily said before James suggested they do anything together. Lily ran out to the lake despite the fact it was snowing and was iced over. She breathed in the cool air and was comforted she was not inside with the warmth and James. James her James. Julianne's James. Sweet James Taken James.


	10. It's about freakin' time

_This chapter is dedicated to my lovely reviewers :]_

_-your yellow flower_

_-Ranma's girl1_

_and last but not least _

_-BErinHaribo_

_want a disclaimer read the other ones. Remember a good way to reward me for my effort are with reviews :o] _

James left to go find Sirius in a daze he just majorly fucked up and needed some major advice to fix it. James left Julianne in that hallway with many questions unanswered but hell they weren't even going out. If this stupid little string of flings was going to get in the way of him and Lily he was going to end it. Besides this Julianne thing was a comfort thing he didn't really want Julianne. He wanted Lily.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Mary was woken up by Lily she proceeded to get up because Lily's problems were bound to keep awakening her. She took out a mirror placed in lilac cloth that Sirius had given her.

"Sirius," She called to the mirror. The mirror reflected a little light at first but then his gruffy face appeared.

"Hey Mary what's wrong?" He asked her.

"Nothing I just miss you; when are you out of detention?"

"In fifteen minutes so James and Lily have got some more problems did you hear?"

"Yeah; hey I'm going to finish waking up and I'll be in the common room in twenty minutes will I see you there?" Mary asked.

"Definitely." Sirius affirmed and with a smile he left the mirror. Mary placed the mirror beneath her bed and went to the bathroom to clean herself.

Sirius shrank the mirror and put it back in his pocket and went to his work and since he finished early he got to leave early too. He took his time getting upstairs because Mary was going to take a bit longer than she had said but eventually he did make it and it was not Mary waiting for him in the common room- it was James.

"Sirius," James called. Sirius was getting tired of the whole when I should ask lily out dilemma its a boring and repeated conversation. and Besides it's not like Mary was alone in her feelings he missed her too.

"What James?" asked Sirius annoyed, his problems were getting in between him and his girl.

"Well I have a tiny bit of a problem," James started but then trailed off.

"Really? Would it have anything to do with Lily? Cause if it does she already told me about the lover's spat you guys had." Sirius said sarcastically.

"No it has more to do with the fact that Julianne and I had an impromptu hook up and she saw it. That and Julianne seems to think we're dating."

"Well you did hook up with the girl" Sirius hinted.

"But it was completely non committal just a one time thing." James said defending himself.

Sirius snorted "James you are so dense sometimes, you knew the girl has liked you for sometime now and she knew that you knew about it so what did you think it was going to mean to her. I mean why did you even go there anyway?" Sirius asked. James turned away from Sirius and put his hands to his forehead stressed and thinking about the reason for the mess. Just then however, Mary came from the dormitory stairs and wrapped her arms around Sirius eluding the notice of James. Sirius moved to put his arm around Mary and he smiled at her lovingly.

"Well I don't know it's just. I was so upset about Lily and everything and she was there and I hadn't hooked up in a long time. And for the moment it felt like Lily and I wouldn't recover from this so I needed someone to take my mind off of that." James said softly sighing but clearly not crying.

Sirius started silently laughing. Mary gave a mischievous smile to Sirius and said aloud "Just because I know Sirius won't say anything and I really need to but you sound like a weepy girl." Mary smiled.

James turned around and glared at her but merely said "And then there were two."

Mary completely ignoring James said "You know that she likes you too. But you need to go talk to Lily and I'm assuming she talked to you but didn't yell at you correct?"

"Yup," James affirmed.

"That means she lost her nerve to go tell you she likes you. First make sure that Julianne knows your not dating a mouse like her then go talk to Lily tell her it was a mistake. I guarantee she will yell at you call you a moron etcetera etcetera and by tomorrow morning she will have forgiven you and will say yes next time you ask her out. But under no circumstances are you to wait longer than three days to ask her or else she will move on."

"And that's it?" James asked amusedly how did one person know all this about Lily.

"Well that's your best chance it depends how big a beating her pride took to seeing that."

"And why should I trust you?"

"Because I am her best friend and despite the fact I don't think your good enough for her she wants you so I'll make her happy."

"I meant why should I trust your opinion?" James asked.

"Because I'm her best friend and also your best chance to Lily." James sighed finally accepting this.

"Thanks Mary better get going so I can leave you and my best mate to do whatever it is you're going to do." James said and ran to go find Julianne which meant consulting the map. He took it out and muttered the phrase that unlocked it. He saw she was wandering up in the direction of the astronomy tower with Dorcas. He ran up to meet her he needed Lily like a drug and couldn't wait to tell her.

He finally saw Julianne and called her name desperately from across the floor. Dorcas looked at him questioningly but he didn't have any time for her.

"Hey Jamsie-poo." James at that moment hated her for calling him that which made this so much easier.

"Hey Julianne I keep hearing people saying we're going out uh why are they?" James asked and Julianne's ridiculous clown smile faded.

"Because we are?" Julianne said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No it was just a few hook ups." James rationalized.

"That's a relationship James but if you want to end it fine!." Julianne huffed before she slapped him and walked away. James was left there stunned as to how he ever became friends with her. When his face stopped stinging he took out his map again and found Lily who was wandering the dungeons by herself James sighed hoping she didn't get herself into some more trouble. But that's what he saw coming for her trouble in the name of Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange.

Lily was absentmindedly wandering the corridors when she felt a pull to the potions lab. She heard whispers coming from behind her she quickened her pace trying to get to Slughorn's office before whoever it was found her. She panicked and ducked behind a statue and hid.

"So he told her to root any people who were suspicious of her. Her duty as a spy too important as there really aren't any others." Rabastan told his brother.

"I heard that I also heard that she's really good at what she does even though she's a non Slytherin. Apparently she' got all the other Order members convinced of her loyalty. It's too bad they don't know that we've got her family under our protection-" She heard them go by her statue and waited a few minutes before getting up and headed towards the passageway revealed to her by James and proceeded to walk down the long tunnel.

Half-way down the passageway she bumped into the very person she did not want to see James Potter. He was breathing heavily as if he had sprinted down seven floors.

"Ja- -" Lily spluttered.

"No Lils my turn to talk. I'm not with Julianne she is not my girlfriend there is only one girl I want to be with and she has red hair and green eyes and she has a fiery temper which as much as I say I hate I actually love." James sighed.

"What about Julianne you guys were together in the kitchens and then again outside that classroom?" Lily managed to ask.

"We're not together I felt ridiculous about what I said to you and she was there so."

"Well you should what you said to me was so unfair and so untrue!" Lily screeched

"That is not the point!" James yelled growing frustrated.

"Well what is? Hmm what is?" Lily screamed.

"I love you Lily I have loved you since second year."

"Well what took you so damn long?" Lily asked angrily.

"What took me so damn long? Are you kidding four years worth of rejections is enough for any guy to be discouraged! You could have told me you liked me!" James said angrily but what Lily did next completely threw him off balance. She jumped into his arms and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. Both of their tempers melted the second their lips touched and they both threw themselves into the kiss. It was intoxicating and they both grabbed the other as if afraid of letting go. Electric shocks were sent throughout their bodies as the kiss continued. James opened his mouth slightly and his smell was enough make Lily start ferociously kissing James again. Eventually the kiss ended but neither of them wanted to. However the need for oxygen overtook that desire.

"So doing anything next Hogsmeade date?" James asked nonchalantly. Lily merely cocked an eyebrow but laughed nontheless.

_YAY Lily and James :] its too bad I'm not even close to done torturing them yet. *sigh* Things shall get darker my friends next chapter will be up within the next few days my dears :] REVIEW! _


	11. Fourth date's a charm

_disclaimer: Don't own J.k does. _

_thank you to my 2 dedicated reviewers (yellow flower and Ranma's girl) if you hadn't reviewed I probably would have given up on this so thank you :]_

_Theres some non- graphic but implied smut so if you don't like that watch out for it._

Lily Evans and James Potter were the two happiest people you could meet. They had already had three dates, both went successfully and when they had gone on Christmas break they both wrote each other several times a day. To Lily Evans the only decent thing that happened during Christmas were the letters.

_Lily _

_I know I saw you just an hour ago but I really do miss you a lot. It's too bad your parents don't allow you to spend any time away from your family. I wish you luck with Victor or whatever his name is; he sounds like a real git. _

_Love_

_James_

_James_

_I know what you mean. We've finally gotten together and then whoosh break is here and I' am away from you. It really is painful. All Mum and Petunia can talk about is the wedding and that's it. Personally I don't think they'll find a suit in all of the U.K to fit that whale of a man. Speaking of Vernon he is a git a really stupid one at that. God forbid someone be different than him or, dare I say, better? Oh really James you're rubbing off on me. _

_Lots of love_

_Lily_

_Lily _

_I hope I am._

_James _

_James_

_I wish you were here today is no better than yesterday. This time Vernon actually called me a freak to my face and then I told him that he was too bloody stupid to understand the beauty of it and that he was jealous. Petunia freaked on me and tried to pull my hair but seeing as I actually have meat on my bones I was able to pull her off no problem. But then my mum came down and grounded me for misbehaving. Mom then told me I'll have to get a taxi for school at the end of this already torturous week. I told her that I knew I'd have to because god forbid that Petunia's flower shopping get interrupted. Mum got a bit angry and reminded me of all the blood sweat and tears she'd put on me I told her to shove it. Ugh watch I'll be late for the train and then I'll miss a few days worth of classes. Worse I'll be stuck with Vernon for a few more days creep. Anyhow I hope your holiday is better than mine and I'll see you on the Hogwarts express. _

_Love always, _

_Lily_

_Lily_

_I'm sorry that your family sucks and that your sister is stupid for marrying this fat ass but look on the Brightside 2 days left until Hogwarts and then our fourth date will begin._

_James. _

_James _

_1 day left,_

_Lily_

Lily woke up on the morning she needed to leave for the train feeling elated and excited they only had one day of class and then she could go to Hogsmeade with James for their fourth date. Lily absolutely loved her dates with James they were the highlights of her week. For their first date they just went to the three broomsticks and watched a bar fight between a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff over escalate and left when it ended; Lily didn't think it could have gone better she remembered with a smile. Then he had taken her to the great lake and they skipped rocks under the bare trees. The second and third dates she didn't remember all that well because it didn't matter where they went it mattered merely that she had went somewhere with James.

Lily got her trunk and all her things together and strode out the door without a word to her mother Petunia or Vernon. They didn't want her presence so therefore she would not force it. She grabbed her things and stuffed them into the taxi and looked once back at the house and saw her mother staring out the curtained window and nodded once curtly but left the window after she did. Lily got into the cab and made it to King's station a half hour later. James had stayed at Hogwarts with Sirius while Lily rotted at home with what was left of her family. The train ride was long and tedious as she was sitting with Shane and Lizzie who only talked about make-up and Lily's relationship with James. Finally however it ended and Lily sped up into the common way ahead of Shane and Lily who were only on the second floor. The common room was filled with the entire Gryffindor house but there was only one person Lily wanted to see and he was sitting in the corner of the room talking to Sirius and Mary in their little huddled group. Their eyes met across the room and all Lily could see was James. It felt like it took forever to cross the room but soon Lily jumped into James's arms.

"Hey Sweets." James whispered into her ear as he spun her around.

"Hey" Lily greeted while smiling at James. She pecked him on the cheek and broke from his embrace. She took a good look around the room. There were red and green streamers from the ceiling, a giant Christmas tree with a Cornish pixie on the top, a giant Santa Claus yelling obscenities to the passerby, a radio that was blaring some rock music and of course her dancing classmates. Lily smiled and knew she had come home after a long two weeks.

On Sunday morning Lily woke up feeling fresh and elated for her date in two hours. She immediately jumped out of bed and tackled a sleeping Mary who grumbled something about " Harsh" "Wand" "Hex" and "Kill." Mary ignored Lily's excitement and rolled back to sleep. Lily jumped off the bed and went into the bathroom and brushed her hair, set it several different ways before allowing it to cascade down her back in gentle waves. She wore a pair of diamond studs with her dark blue jeans, two blue layered cami's and simple green sweater to go over it with a matching green hat and scarf. She smiled at the reflection of the mirror and added a little eyeliner to make her eyes stand out. She looked at the clock and came down five minutes late. When she came down James looked in awe but was breathtaking himself. He wore a black sweater with a gray shirt underneath that showed off his muscular chest, but brought out the green tones in his hazel eyes. He smiled and held out his hand which she took willingly.

"So where are we going today?" Lily asked him.

"First we're getting something to eat then I have another place to show you but it's a surprise so I'm not going to tell you where." James said smiling while his eyes shone with amusement. Lily pouted mockingly but allowed him to lead the way. They were the first one's to enter Hogsmeade when they got there and the quiet little town was beginning to buzz with excitement. The snow on the ground reflected the bright high sun that had started to rise fully. James pulled her into Honeydukes store.

"James I thought we were going for breakfast?" Lily asked

"We are. This is breakfast." James said gesturing to the endless amounts of sweets.

Lily merely laughed but picked out some chocolate and some sugar quills.

"So I woke up Sirius today before our date." James began Lily laughed but told him that she did the same to Mary and that they were both likely to kill them for it later. When they had purchased their candy and left the store they noticed many other Hogwarts students were finally drudging their way through the snow into Hogsmeade. James took their bags of sweets and led her into the three broomsticks where Sirius and Mary had a table amongst the already crowded pub. Lily and James grabbed two stools over and sat with the angry looking couple.

When they had finally gotten settled Sirius pointed to the bags beneath his eyes and shouted "YOU are the reason for why I look like this." He pointed to his bags energetically now "These are your fault! Why did you have to get me up? Why? You couldn't have left me alone? You couldn't have let me sleep? Why what did I ever do to you?" Sirius shouted half hysterically.

"Uh oh I think it's time for somebody's nappie." Lily teased but got a death glare from both Mary and Sirius.

"Your one to be talking Lil. You woke me up too and I have to steal Sirius's line but why?" Mary grumbled viciously. They were clearly both very angry. Lily could not help but laugh at them; they looked like an old married couple. Lily pulled out some chocolate and broke it up and gave some each to James Sirius and Mary. The chocolate immediately softened Sirius's angry expression but Mary was still a bit miffed but a little less angry.

In an hour all the candy was gone and each person was laughing and having a good time while drinking a butter beer. Suddenly James looked at his watch and pulled Lily to her feet.

"I still have another surprise for you." He told her when she lifted her eyebrow questioningly at him. They left the warm bar into the cold sunny street. The wind was harsh that day and blew right through Lily's thick coat and she shivered into James's chest. James led her down a path towards the thick woods surrounding Hogsmeade. There was a clear path into the woods but no feet prints on the one James led her on. The thick pine trees that were covered with snow clouded her vision and she could not see ahead of her. The once cloudless sky was now filled with dark grey clouds which hid the sun from view and made Lily's ability to see where they were going even harder. James however looked like he could find his way to wherever it was they were going with his hands behind his back and blindfolded.

"James where are we going?" Lily asked when they were deep within the forest.

"I can't tell you that right now." James told her Lily's eyes widened in fear. "Your not seriously scared just because it got a little dark are you Lils?" He goaded her. Her eyes narrowed, she squared her shoulders and strode ahead of James. He covered her back with his body when another strong gust of wind shook the forest. Lily's nose was now very red and her eyes stung.

"How much longer James?" Lily asked after an hour of walking.

"About another ½ mile." He replied eying her. "You alright?"

"Yeah just cold." Lily replied pecking him before they strode down the path. As they went down the path which had now sharply turned the snow had become deeper and thicker. The storm that had threatened them only an hour before that begun. First there were only a few snowflakes but then the snowflakes morphed into snow cotton balls that were raining down from the sky and hiding the footsteps they had left behind. Lily turned to look back but James ushered her forward. Eventually they left the safety of the woods and she came face to face with the small rusted barbed wire fence that surrounded the shrieking shack. Lily turned to James questioningly "The Shrieking Shack? Why? What's in there?" she asked.

"Remember that we were hiding something from you back in second year?" Lily nodded "Well the answer to that is in there. In that shack." He told her. "Do you want to go?" He asked eying her seemingly frightened expression.

"No let's go in." Lily commanded fearlessly. They walked over the fence and came in through a broken back window. James went in first but helped Lily in through the window to help her avoid any broken glass. Lily opened her mouth in awe and horror. The house before her was completely destroyed something or someone had completely ruined it. The lilac wall paper was tinged brown due to age but there were claw scratches on every surface of the place. The lightly yellow furniture was covered in blood and scratches and looked ripped apart. It looked like some dog or a bear had come to the place and left it's claw and bite marks. Lily touched the chair lightly allowing her fingers to move along the rough grooves that was laced with blood. She turned to James "What happened here?" She asked in utter horror.

"Werewolf." James told her seriously. "I'll explain it upstairs, it's less gory and ripped apart."

"Who?" Lily asked as she went up the narrow creaky stair case.

"Think about it Lils for a sec it should come to you." James told her as he looked forlornly out the window.

"Remus; Remus is a werewolf." She guessed incredulously; James looked at her and nodded. "Wow poor Remus for how long?"

"Since he was four or five I think." He told her Lily merely nodded trying to digest this.

"Why was this hidden from me?" Lily asked trying to keep the irritation and anger from her voice. " How did it become just your secret? How does it involve all of you?" At this question James took a deep breath and sat on the next to Lily.

"When we found out, we knew we couldn't just leave him there by himself to transform so we helped him." Lily's eyebrows disappeared in her hairline.

"You became Animagi?" Lily asked horrified James nodded bracing himself for the anger that he thought would come. But never did. "Wow" Lily was in awe; she knew it took a lot of guts and hard work to accomplish something like that.

"What did you guys become?" she asked James who was still staring at the floor. He looked up at her with a small smile and told her "Sirius is a dog and Peter is a rat." Lily was not surpirse at what they were.

"What're you?" Lily asked.

"Guess." He told smiling

"An elephant?"

"With my grace no way." James laughed.

"A cat?"

"Too small."

"Of course cause your very large." Lily teased James glared at her. "A pig."

"Seriously a pig?" He asked mockingly outraged.

"Fine a horse?"

"And I'm a unicorn." James mocked

"Uhh a lizard?" James laughed

"You're kidding right?"

"I' am. I know you're a stag." Lily told him smiling.

"How did you know?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

"It just seems fitting I suppose and well your nickname, Prongs." Lily smiled at him. He smiled at her and grabbed her in a hug. She planted a kiss on his lips and he grabbed her by the clothing on her back by the fistfuls and pulled her into his chest as if they could mold into one. Lily took off her hat scarf and gloves and wrapped her legs around James's waist. Lily's hands became knotted in James hair as their tongues intertwined. Lily quickly disposed of her sweater as she lifted off James's and threw it on the floor. "Lily are you sure you want to do this?" James asked in a rough whisper. His words tickling her ear. "Yes." Lily grabbed James's mouth with her own as they both proceeded to lose articles of clothing….

Lily collapsed in James's arms sweaty and breathing heavy as he was doing the same. Lily quickly shut her eyes and fell asleep quite content where they were.

When Lily next awoke she was asleep on James's now clothed lap while he sat on the floor. Lily pulled the thin moth eaten sheet around herself as she looked at James and smiled.

"I hate to be McGonnagal but we gotta go soon It'll be dark in a few hours." James told her. Lily pouted but grabbed her panties and got dressed.

"How are we getting back? I mean by the time we get back through those woods it'll be an hour after dusk." Lily asked as she put on her last item of clothing.

"We're going out the way I normally get in and out with Sirius. It'll get us back on school grounds near the Whomping Willow." Lily nodded and got up signifying she was ready. She pecked him on the lips as James led her down the stairs into a tunnel.

"What is this place?" Lily asked him.

"This is the tunnel that we take from Hogwarts ground it's a much shorter way to get here than going through Hogsmeade."

"Ah." Lily affirmed.

"Lily this must be one of the most random times to tell you this but I love you and this thing we've got going. Well I'm in this one hundred percent there is no way I could leave now or ever." James told her as he stared into her green eyes intensely. Lily was swimming in hazel at this point and never felt happier.

"James I have never felt happier and there is no way I can end this." Lily told him earnestly. He nodded and kissed her passionately. They walked down the creepy dark tunnel hand in hand unafraid of anything the world has in store for them at that moment.

James led her up through the grounds after they left the tunnel up through Hogwarts and made it there as the sun was setting. They walked slowly and serenely through the corridors ignoring the faceless people Staring at them behind their hands as they talked to their other friends. They simply did not matter the only thing that mattered was that Lily and James were together and as far as they knew it was going to stay that way. They made it to the common room eventually and James gave the password.

Lily started to go up the stairs to her dormitory when James called "Lily"

"Yup." She called back as she went back down the stairs.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked genuinely.

"The best." Lily replied smiling. She reached up on her tippy toes to give James a peck goodnight.

As soon as Lily made it to her bed in her pajamas she took out a book but she didn't get very far when there was a knock on the door.

Lily sighed but she said "Come in." Shane came in through the door and rested on Lily's bed. "Hi."

"Hey how was Hogsmeade" Lily asked Shane.

"Fine Amos was sweet; But Dorcas hung with us and she was acting kind of odd. Almost as if she had something to hide."

"I know I think she's doing something evil or something she shouldn't be doing at any rate. I have never seen her like this except when she's talking about Remus of course." Lily replied.

"Oh didn't you hear? Remus and Dorcas are going out already. They got together today and spent it at Madame Puddifoots."

"Oh that's good I think they complement each other." Lily said with fake enthusiasm. But then an idea popped into her head maybe Dorcas was feeling odd and knows about Remus being a werewolf and is feeling bad because she thinks less of him for it. Lily frowned it's sad that most families would look down on that. It was absolutely horrendous. Lily then felt better about the whole Dorcas thing and can't believe she accused Dorcas of being a death eater. Then a sinking feeling came into Lily's gut if it wasn't Dorcas who was it? There was a spy within their ranks The Lestranges had said so but the question was who. Who would betray their friends and lead them to their deaths?

_Don't be lazy Reward me for my efforts; Review! Remeber the more reviews I get the more frequently I update. :o]_


	12. I can handle this alone

_IAM so so so SORRY I have had midterms so i havent had any time to write and i know this isn't nearly as long as the other ones but I desperately wwanted to put this up omg Im so sorry you guys !_

_disclaimer: look at the prev chptr_

The months had rolled on by without any major occurrences other than Mary's nightmares that she could not remember but they were not life threatening. Mary would just brush them off the next day but every so now and then Lily would notice her clutching her left forearm or her forehead or her back but Mary would try to pass it off as an itch. Lily and James were for once fine they had grown as strong as ever it was Sirius and Mary having the problems. Sirius had known that Mary was still having visions and was convinced she was deliberately hiding them from him but Mary was tired of his over protectiveness ( as she viewed it) and this frequently led to fights which James and Lily were unable to fight.

The only ones who managed to escape from public notice were Remus and Dorcas. As far as both Lily and James knew they were both ecstatic over their new relationship and it was going well for they never heard a peep out of the new couple. Then again to anyone else who was not either Remus or Dorcas thought it was going well but neither Remus nor Dorcas could agree on that. Remus was a very girlfriend boyfriend type of guy he liked someone dependable and Dorcas was most definitely not that type of girl. Dorcas was deceptive and sneaky and liked to keep her own private matters to herself whereas Remus opened up to her. Remus and Dorcas were quickly tiring of each other and no one knew except them.

Lily awoke one morning to find Mary's bed empty and Lily begrudgingly got out of bed to go down to the common room only pausing to steal a quick glance at the clock which read 3:22 Am. Lily donned her slippers that were resting by the door and hopped down the stairs to find Mary staring into the fire with a thin thread bare blanket pulled around her shivering form. Lily sat on the open space next to her.

"Another nightmare?" Lily asked groggily.

"Yeah the same one I had the night I almost died except I still didn't see my killer's face but I heard Sirius's voice and I came down here hoping he had magically heard it too. I miss him I miss us." Mary spoke softly yet clearly despite the early hour.

"Things aren't going to get better unless you talk to him. He loves you Mary he's over the moon about you. The greatest slut of Hogwarts has settled down." Lily said smiling.

"This is something that I need to handle on my own. I can deal with this." Mary told Lily stubbornly.

"The last time you had a vision you were asleep but the very first one almost killed you. This is not something that can be solved with a tough chic attitude." Lily sternly told her grogginess now gone from her voice. Mary narrowed her eyes and looked at Lily for the first time.

"This is my problem and I can fix it and I'd appreciate it if you stop giving me advice on this." Mary half yelled.

"Fine good night, I'll talk to you at breakfast." Lily left to go up the stairs and Mary tightened the shawl around her shoulders as a draft came in through the cracked windows. Deep down she knew Lily was right but she had the reigns to her life in her hands and she wasn't giving that up. When Mary couldn't take the cold anymore and she fled upstairs to the boys' dormitory and tripped over several boys' shoes and quidditch gear before crashing into Sirius's bed. Sirius's eyes opened and he smiled as he opened the covers to welcome her in. Mary then slept for the next few hours in Sirius's arms and never felt better.

Lily woke the next morning and it was Saturday and she climbed out of bed and slowly began to get ready. She was meeting James for lunch again but other than that they had some serious studying to do for the N.E.W.T exams.


	13. The calm

_Look at the previous chapters for disclaimers. _

_Another chapter. You guys deserve this after my midterm absence :[ sorry about that again. And last chapter it was a let down but its important and stays important as the story goes on. I think another 10 chapters (an estimation) and then im done with this fic. (my very first). im trying to update faster but i cant school is starting to pile and im starting lacrosse so itll be even harder. im trying to upsdate at least every other week but i know i wont always do that so im sorry _

Lily awoke one night about a week after her fight with Mary to a for once silent empty dormitory. Mary hadn't woken her up and allowed her to sleep. At this point Lily wished that Mary would just accept that she needs help with this. Despite this Lily got out of bed and went down to the expectedly empty common room and lay on the couch still in her night clothes. She was merely waiting for James to come down from his common room so they could spend some time together before classes and then plan for Hogsmeade the next day. Lily suddenly heard a shuffling from the boy's dormitory to see Remus walk belatedly to the spot next to her. Lily noticed the distraught look Remus's haggard features wore.

"The full moon hasn't been up what's wrong?" Lily asked him encouragingly.

"Dorcas and I-" Remus started

"Oo what about you and Dorcas. You guys are so right for each other." Lily babbled until Remus held up his hand to stop her.

"No were not. We're too different things just aren't working out. I think I'm going to break up with her tonight." Remus said dejectedly studying his hands. Lily looked at him and grasped his fiddling hand with her own.

"It'll be ok Remus you'll find someone who is compatible with you. You're a nice guy if I didn't have one of my own I'd go for you." Lily told him truthfully.

"Ha, thanks Lils." Remus snorted feeling a little better. Breaking up with someone was not ever going to be easy for Remus ever. With a sigh he looked up at Lily and smiled at her. "It's not like I don't see why James went for you. I'd be blind if I didn't see. But you two are the ones who really belong. Not me and Dorcas. We're like puzzle pieces that look like they'd be perfect for the picture but in reality they don't fit together at all." Remus muttered sadly.

"That was a very nice analogy Remus." Mary teased from the stairs. She skipped down from the boy's dormitory. "Truly beautiful." Sirius commented from behind her. Mary's smile faded when she came into Lily's vision. Lily merely regarded her with no emotion and nodded in her general direction. Mary sighed and sat on the couch across from them with Sirius at her side. At the moment that Mary opened her mouth aiming to apologize to Lily Shane walked into the common room.

"Li-"Mary uttered

"Lily!" Shane called. Lily turned to her and got off her comfortable position from the couch to go talk to her outside the common room. Shane led Lily into a corridor close to the Portrait but

"Yeah what is it Shane?" Lily asked irritatedly. Lily didn't have time for her drama this morning.

"Look I have something to tell you but it's kind of hard. But its about Dorcas…" Shane spat out choking on her own words.

"What about Dorcas?" Lily asked piquing an eyebrow at her display. Lily's suspicion in Dorcas rose again.

"Well wha-what do you think about her?" Shane closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I think she does some suspicious things but I think she's a good person who's allegiance is to the Order and to Dumbledore why."

"N-, I c-can't. You need to find James Lily and d-don't go to Hogsmeade." Shane stood there for a moment before sprinting off in the opposite direction. Lily froze for a second as her heart sped up. Lily considered going after her but then she thought better of it; she had someone else that had to be protected. Then she remembered what those Slytherins have said. The traitor is good at her job and has them all convinced that their parents are safe. Lily's breath sped up and she ran back into the common room to find that Remus Sirius and Mary were gone. Lily took a deep breath and waited for James to come down from his dorm only to remember that today was their trip to Hogsmeade. She'd forgotten. James had told her only last night he'd meet her there. Lily ran down the stairs and pushed the great doors of Hogwarts open with desperation shaking in her muscles. When she got outside she saw the dark mark looming threateningly over the village of Hogsmeade. She ran off despite the announcement by Dumbledore asking that all students go and stay in their dormitories. Many students and villagers were storming back to the castle trying for some protection under Dumbledore. Lily knew that James would not be a part of the herd coming back; the bloody stupid brace potter would be there fighting. And he would get himself killed. Lily's legs sped up faster at this thought and her muscles begged for oxygen but she pushed on. Mothers were running past her with children in their arms some with lost limbs and husbands were ushering their young daughters to the front of the crowd. She was half way to Hogsmeade when she smelt it. The sickening scent of burnt flesh and smoke invaded the town. This made her run faster she had never felt more desperate in her life.


	14. Don't die on me Don't you dare die on me

_I'm, so sorry you guys for not updating but with a rush of reviews and story alerts I felt I had to update. I'm sorry the grammar is atrocious but I wanted it out. when I finish this story I will fix it up anyhow there is only about one or two more chapters before I finish my very first fanfic! anyhow thanks to my faithful readers and please review! _

Lily ran up the path towards the village but saw the flashes of deadly light coming from both sides. She ducked behind a building to avoid getting hit but crouched and peered out into the smoke ridden battlefield. She saw two clearly defined sides firing spells at each other while innocents and other passersby tried to get out of Hogsmeade. Lily then scoured her field of vision for James. She had to get to him before he was killed. Eventually she spotted James along with Sirius dueling one mask-less Deatheater. Lily knew her as Perestellina Dolohov a graduate of Hogwarts as of a year ago. As Lily spied for another place to hide the piece of building she found as shelter was blown away. Lily's wand was out knocked out of her hand and landed in the snow nearby. The pieces of rubble fell on her chest and Lily was struggling to breathe. She pushed against the stone on her chest with all her might but it still didn't budge. Lily inhaled and turned her head to the left where she saw a little girl not older than five years old dead in the snow beside her. She was blond with half open grey blue eyes and blood dribbling from her left temple. Lily felt a scream build in her chest but the weight of the stone kept it from being released. Lily's head bobbled back as the stone crushed her. The snow flakes falling from the clouds seemed so gentle a contrast to the bloody battlefield Lily was going to suffocate on. As Lily's vision turned black she felt the heavy weight lift off her. Lily gasped for breath and opened her eyes to see a pair of grey blue eyes hidden behind a Death Eater's mask. Lily knew she was going to die she was a mudblood, an enemy in their eyes. Instead as soon as she blinked her savior was gone. Lily turned her head wildly to look for him but there was nothing except bodies and the echoes of screams.

Lily got up and picked up her wand. Lily still heard screams of pain and anguish in the background and the bodies littering the battlefield. The bodies were of young people fighting an old man's war. Both sides lost but it was clear to Lily that this war was one of where the winner is the side who would lose less. There must have been at least a hundred bodies around her. Lily's disgust with the Death Eaters lessened as she realized that though they started the war they were people just like her who believed in someone enough to lay down their lives. Was she any different?

Lily looked down at an Order member facedown in the snow whose wand was thirty feet away. She looked around for any signs of struggle pocketed her wand and picked up the Order member's wand. She fingered the fine Cherry wood handle and wondered how many had died by this wand's light? How many children lost their mothers fathers sisters brothers cousins aunts uncles and friends to this wand's edge? What did it matter that these children were the children of Death Eaters? Yes they were raised to hate people of her standing but it was the adults of their lives that taught them that way. It was Voldemort that made many of their families join. Lily needed to fight. James had been trying his hardest to keep her out of it. Not now, not now that she saw the horrors of war. It will catch up to her eventually but she would fight until the day she died. Lily grabbed her wand and prepared for battle and ran right towards the screams. Lily felt a flash of red light fly towards her head while she ducked behind a building. She then faced the Death Eater head on casting several stunners for him while created a shield charm for the curses and hexes he aimed at her. She hid behind the building again when all of her stunners missed their marks. Then she popped out again and managed to cast a body bind curse at him. She ran passed him and saw James and Sirius fending off a few Death Eaters between each of them. She cast a few body binds on the Death Eaters with their backs to her. James's eyes were battle weary and his athletic frame tense but his eyes glinted with relief when he saw her alive and well. With all the Death Eaters in the vicinity gone for the moment she stood next to James and hugged him. However their relieving moment was short lived when with a bang and red light Sirius lay stunned beside them. In a flash James had shot a stunner at the Death Eater. The Death Eater's wand arm was shaking heavily and James shot another stunner at her. The death eater blocked it with precision and with speed befitting of a seeker she shot several spells at them. James dodged all of his but Lily fell victim to a leg locker curse and without a wand she couldn't reverse it fast enough to find her wand to rejoin the duel. Temporarily distracted James let a curse graze him but continued to fight on. James fought his hardest but it was increasingly clear that this Death Eater was a better duelist. However much to Lily's surprise had yet to cast an unforgivable. However as soon as Lily noted that; the Death Eater shot a blast of green light in James's direction. With her heart rate increasing and desperation to fight for James's life climbing she felt the curse slowly lifting. But it was not fast enough the Death Eater had James wand less and on his knees but as soon as Lily lifted the spell. The Death Eater had cast its final spell on James a blast of green-blue light towards his chest with a tear Lily ran and stood in front of James taking full blast of the light she only lasted a second of excruciating pain before she blacked out.

James P.O.V

I thought it was the end. I thought the Death Eater was going to kill me that was until Lily the only reason I had to live, took the spell for me. With a growl building in my chest I grabbed Lily's discarded wand so fast it took the scum off guard. I shot a stunner at the Death Eater so hard and powerful that it knocked her fifty feet into the window of another building. I felt the power seething within me and grabbed Lily's wrist to feel for a pulse. When I felt there was none I fought off tears of anger hatred and grief. Sirius tried to restrain me but now nothing was going to stop me from killing the scum that killed Lily. I went into the battle worn shop and pointed my wand at the stirring Death Eater. I was going to kill it. But before I did that I wanted to put a face to scum who did it. I angrily ripped the mask from its face. To my shock I saw that it was Dorcas. I unknowingly held in a breath. Everything Lily was had suspected was right she was right. I was wrong and I was such an ass for it. But now she's dead and I'll never be able to apologize. I fell to my knees and felt the first tears sting my eyes. Before I totally lost it I bound Dorcas in her Death Eater robes so she couldn't escape. But then the news I only had ears for rang across the abandoned town. "James, it's Lily, she has a pulse. James she's alive help me out!"

Lily P.O.V

I felt myself unable to lift my eyelids. But I knew, I just knew that James was there. I could feel his presence which made the weight of my existence so much easier. Suddenly that's when pain shot through my stomach. I screamed out and then there was nothing I couldn't feel anything anymore. But the weight of breathing became too much of a burden I didn't have the strength to keep breathing anymore. I felt as if I was on fire as if knives were cutting against my skin, flaying me alive with every slow agonizing slice. Surely there should be nothing left but bones. That's when I felt a scream build in my chest and I knew how to use my voice. I screamed for James to kill me.

James P.O.V

I could do nothing to stop her screams. The usually comforting hospital scene of Hogwart's did nothing for me and it sure as hell did nothing for Lily. They don't know what hit her but the curse is making Lily reject all forms of pain medication. There is nothing to ease her pain now but it's my fault so I'll help her best I can. I don't know for how I long I had sat there but it felt like a hundred years. A hundred miserable years that I have had to hear Lily beg me to kill her. I don't know what they are doing to Dorcas but she won't even tell us what curse she used. That fucking traitorous bitch. My hands gripped the roots of my hair. Eventually sometime around midnight Madame Pomfrey came in with a small silver vile and forced Lily's mouth open and poured the drink in.

"What was that?" I croaked.

"That that girl finally broke down and told us what was ailing her. She used an incredibly dark curse in which the victim will suffer for seven long days before she dies unless administered the cure which I have done. However the cure doesn't always work but it does at least ebb the pain for a little while. Today will be telling as to whether she will live through this or if she dies. Mr Potter you should rest it won't bring her back to stay up like this." In that moment I hated Dorcas I wanted to torture her myself I should have. But I didn't. I couldn't sleep knowing Dorcas was still breathing but I forced myself to stay by Lily's side because she was the only thing that mattered. I can't stand the fact she may not make it. She has to make it she just has to.

"I'll rest when she finally wakes."

"Mr Po-"

"No I'll rest when she wakes." Without another word the nurse left in a huff but I was too relieved to care I was glad Lily was out of her misery. Then I spoke without even knowing where the words came from.

"Lily you have every right to be angry at me for being an ass. I should have trusted your instincts I never should have turned on you it was the wrong thing to do. It didn't matter she was my friend I should have trusted you. Instead I built a wall between us and I'll do everything in my power to bring it down. I love you so much. You are everything to me." I took her hand in mine. "I know you'll never say yes especially now but I want you to be my wife. But I'll settle you for living through this. Just open your eyes tell me to bugger off, anything just don't die on me. Don't you dare die on me.

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_Obviously she lives but anyhow I need to tie up a few loose ends before it officially ends. Anyways The Death Eater with the grey eyes will eventually have a one shot from me sometime after this story ends. it won't be too long only about 1,000 words if you're interested. But I plan on finishing this story before the end of summer so it'll be a few weeks for the last few updates. At any rate I'll be finished soon. Please I know I don't deserve it but reviewing always motivates me to write so please please please review thanks see you in a few weeks_


	15. The End

Lily had a hard time taking breath in as she was so weak. Lily struggled to open her eyes but her lids were just too heavy. Suddenly she left a light pressure on her eyelids which encouraged her to open them. She smiled at the sight of James's worry creased eyes looking at her.

"Hi." She whispered. James sighed in relief and grasped her hand in his.

"Hi there," James paused. "I'm so glad you're awake."

"What happened?" Lily asked groggily.

"You were hit by an incredibly dark curse but they were able to get the needed information from the death eater for the cure."

"How?" Lily asked confused.

"The Death Eater was Dorcas, Lily. Lily I have been a jerk these past few weeks and I'm so sorry. You were right about Dorcas I should have trusted your judgment."

"Yes you should have, but it's ok. I'm, well, hopefully I will be ok. I'm just too tired." A small smile appeared on James's face.

"Sleep then." Lily's eyes slid closed as James blurred out of sight.

Two weeks later….

Lily had been released from the hospital without long lasting effects. Dorcas had been sent to an Order stronghold for interrogation. Although she hadn't taken the dark mark she wouldn't likely be released soon. James had spent every second he could with Lily making sure she was safe. However after she was released he was called away on order business.

One night the couple could be heard screaming through out the Gryffindor common room. "Lily! No!" James yelled.

"This is not your choice to make James. I'm not asking you I'm telling you!" Lily screamed back.

"It's too dangerous for-" James began.

"Too dangerous for what? A woman?" Are you telling me you're one of those men?" Lily shrieked.

"No! Just too dangerous for you! I already have a target on my head because of my birth and status. You shouldn't be in the middle of that!"

"I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS JAMES! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? I'M MUGGLEBORN THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR MY ELIMINATION! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" Lily took a breath and began again. "I have to fight for my right to exist because they are slowly taking it from me. They want me out of my natural place its sick. I can't imagine living life without magic and being in a place where I couldn't use it. This has nothing to do with you. You're pureblood you have the right to be here as far as they're concerned. This is about me this about my rights. Without magic there is no life for me. I' am joining the order. Nothing you say can stop me" Lily finished. James paused and searched her eyes for any sign of reluctance.

"Fine." James stormed out the portrait hole. Lily sighed.

Approximately a week later, James and Lily were still distant. Lily hadn't gone to Dumbledore with her plans yet and didn't want to until she and James had worked this out.

Mary was walking down to the hospital wing hoping to talk to Madam Pomfrey. Her nightmares were only getting progressively worse. As she headed down an enchanted staircase it began to move but then hovered and came to a dead stop. Mary realizing it would be while since peeves enchanted the staircases to stop sat down. Suddenly there was a loud bang and Sirius jumped from the staircase above hers fell right beside her.

"Well Hello" Sirius said grinning, Mary sighed and smiled. "Where're you headed my dear?"

"Madame Pomfrey." Sirius's smile faded. "Those nightmares still getting worse."

"Yeah I can't do this by myself. I could be killed in my sleep. I'm sorry I pushed you away Sirius I was just afraid. I couldn't comprehend it." Mary stared down at her lap.

"It's about time you admitted it." Mary looked up into Sirius's eyes. He had on a slight smile.

"I love you Sirius. And" She looked into her lap again. "if you can't deal with the nightmares I understand." This time Sirius lifted her chin and kissed her sweetly.

"I love you too Mary. Let's visit Madame Pomfrey about these."

When they had gotten to Madame Pomfrey's office they sat down and started discussing possible options about the nightmares. Sirius held her hand the entire time. Madame Pomfrey had told them that her nightmares were permanent but manageable. Mary understood that the silent look Pomfrey sent her meant that one of these days a nightmare could kill her. That is if the war didn't kill her first. She knew that the nightmares she was having meant she had a betrayor in her midst. She didn't tell Sirius this as it would be kinder not to. He understood that the nightmares could kill her. She didn't want to tell him that it was nearly absolute that they would. But in any case she would have to take a dreamless sleep potion nearly every night and have someone stay by her side. Luckily for her Sirius was up for the job.

Lily decided to seek out Mary before she would talk to James. This was her decision and she was single person before a couple. However in the hospital wing she heard the boom of Mary and Sirius's voices. She leaned on the column nearest listening wistfully to the boom of Mary's and Sirius's laughter. She decided to approach Mary later it was about time she patched things up with Sirius. When she turned to leave she felt an arm on her shoulder. She turned to see James.

" Hi." She said. He grabbed her hand.

"I'am a mighty ass." James said simply. "But I'm scared for you. Its dangerous, people die. I have seen people die already."

"So have I James. I went into Hogsmeade to get you out of there. Might as well fight beside you. I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't be able to sit while other people fight my battles for me. That's why I'm going to Dumbledore. I won't say I won't go to Dumbledore if you tell me not to. But I' am saying I'd rather go with you than without you." With that James took her hand and led her up to Dumbledore's office. Lily knew that even though there was a battle brewing outside she could face it all with James's hands in hers.


End file.
